I need help with this boy...not sure if he likes me?

[Robin]

Long story short, we go to different schools, and he talks to me on facebook all the time (like every day or every other day). However, this has been going on for months, and he hasn't asked to hang out or anything close to that (we met at his school's homecoming, so it's not like I don't know him). One time I mentioned hanging out and he kind of brushed it aside. He didn't say no, but he obviously either didn't want to hang out, or didn't get the hint. Whenever we talk, he makes fun of me a lot,and some of the things he says can be mean, but I'm pretty sure he's joking because he's a nice guy. He doesn't exactly flirt with me and say "you're cute" or anything like that. But he literally talks to me all the time, like more than just normal friends would talk. He never responds to me at night when he falls asleep, so I don't start the conversation, because it's not like I'm going to send 2 messages in a row. Then he asked me why I never talk to him. I'm confused. Is there anything coming out of this? I don't want to ask and ruin our friendship.

[James W.]

It's very difficult to develop a healthy relationship over social media because 75% of communication is nonverbal.

Men at times are hard to figure out.

It sounds like you might be making dating choices mainly based upon whether someone likes you and you like them. Unfortunately this approach to dating, used by most people, usually leads to a broken heart.

May I suggest that the first question to ask yourself when considering whether or not to date someone is, “Is this person a strong person?” If they’re not, no matter how much you like them, how much they like you, or how “cute” or “hot” they are, - please don’t date them. A strong person has good character (honesty, integrity, trustworthiness), a positive attitude (cheerful, caring, friendly, forgiving, helpful, and respectful), fulfills their responsibilities (for handling pains in a positive way, for always trying to make a good choice, for taking care of themselves, for serving others), puts forth their best effort, and displays self-control (of their body, anger, tongue and money).

My suggestion is that you put in the effort necessary to become a strong person (if you’re not already), forget about this guy unless he’s a strong person, and eventually look for this type of guy (otherwise you are setting yourself up for a broken heart). Unfortunately this type of man is difficult to find – but save yourself the heartache and don’t settle for less.

(Please remember that you eventually want a 40, 50, or 60 year marriage - not a 5 or 10 year marriage.)

Hope this helps!