Extreme depression over something i did.?

[OnlyAWhile]

This is a long story. But, here it goes. I made up a fake life online and formed a strong realionship with a Girl that thought i was a Guy. We were friends for five years and, we would talk everyday, she would call me in the middle of the night just to talk. We would go on Xbox and watch movies and play video games. We even formed a long dsistance Realionship. I really don't know what i was thinking all i knew was it was fun to have a life i would never have. She was deeply in love with a person that didn't exsit she became apart of my life for a very long period of time. I finally told her that i wasn't even a Guy and the truth about who i was. She got very upset about it. Which, she has every right to be pissed. I know i should of stopped but i was very young when i started and wasn't thinking. I was so lost and in love with a person that i pretended to be. It seems that i have accidently fallen in love with this girl. Not knowing that i wasn't even close to being able to be who i was pretending to be. She delete and blocked me from everything even after i was deeply sorry for my action and i was explained why i did it. She seemed like she was kinda of understanding it but didn't want to believe it. And got so mad at me and treaten to call the cops on me for posting fake photos on a fake facebook account. Ever since i told her who i was. I have completely lost a huge part of my self. I can't eat, i can't sleep. I keep waking up in the middle of the night about 5 to 7 times each night with thoughts of what i did, and as odd as this may sound i even dream of her and that everything was okay. I'm extremely depressed and feel my life has been broken forever. I have no Job or friends really. I'm always home alone which makes it worse. I pretty much just lay in bed thinking about what i did and how much i broke this persons heart. Wishing that some how she'll be friends with me again with the hopes of a new start. I feel the most powerful and extreme feelings of loneliness and guilt, along with depression. I was looking on her facebook just to see how she was feeling and it turns out she can't sleep or eat either. She has to go to the doctor because of me!!!!!! I hurt this person so much that she has to go to the doctor because of it!!!! I feel like in have no meaning in life and i deeply care for this persons well being even after i did something so wrong. I would probably never be the same. How can i cope with this? Do you think she'll come around to be friends again?

[â™ Merlin â™]

of course she wont come around, to be friends or even forgive you
you wasted years of her with lies
and yet you STILL manage to make it all about you???

neither of you can even hope to recover from this with out a clean break
she needs to heal from being deceived
and you need to sort out whats missing from your life that would make you live a made up persona

[The_heart_hacker]

Its really wrong, we should not play with anyone feelings but now it has happend. So you should think further. I will not tell you about forget the previous because i know it not easy as anyone say.
so now 1st which you must have to do is try to make yourself busy as possible in any silly job and strictly avoid to being lonley. Its help you definetly. So everything depend upon you avoid to look in previous and try to look forward about your life.
and dont worry about her, she will also become normal with time and dont try to contac her again it is not good for you and she also because when you contac him the previous memories are again come in your mind which hurt you so try to avoid it.
Wish you a bright future.

[Carol]

How do you cope with this? By learning from it. Don't mislead because it can have serious consequences which you learned the hard way.

Will she come around to being friends again? It doesn't look like it.

I'm sorry that she feels badly about this whole situation. Good luck.