Do I give up or do I still hope?

[Karen]

Do I give up or do I still hope?
It all started in November 2012. I was on twitter when ''Nick'' followed me (i replaced his real name) and I know him 'cause he's only 2 years older than me and we started tweeting about Twilight and I was so glad cause I finally found a guy who loves Twilight too! Well, except for my brother.. but back to the story, so we tweeted for about an hour and then I slept. I have a crush then named ''Shan'' and I was on the verge of ''moving on'' or something like that haha.. because he's been my crush for about 4 months and let me tell you.. it's really serious but back then I knew I had no chance with him cause he already likes someone else (he's also 2 years older than me. Him and Nick are classmates; we're schoolmates) so after a few days.. we still kept tweeting and Nick is really conceited! I mean not like a jerk type.. he just keeps saying he's handsome and more but I really found it funny cause he's insisting that he's handsome because he is! He'ssss reaaaalllllly white! Super! Haha because the most common natural color here in the Philippines is brown so he stands out a lot! But I'm also white, but not that white.. I'm a little bit of a chubby too. So yeah, we got close but when I finally admitted that I like him that's when everything changed. (no i didn't confess, I just admitted to myself that I like him) My friends knew it and they tease me when he's around but I just can't help but be angry because it's because of that he's not talking to me anymore or tweeting (we never talked personally) January 2013 he tweeted in twitter ''Staring contest with crush? Sure!'' and IIIIIIIIIII was really hoping it was me! I'm a fool right? Because no.. it wasn't me. Sigh. So I think it only started last week that I sometimes caught him looking at me? Or I'm just hallucinating? I said to myself that he was looking at somebody else but it keeps getting worse.. and I'm really hurt. Because Febraury 2013 he posted a photo on instagram saying ''You're Still the One'' and the hashtags were so painful I cried the whole 3 nights but then thought that he's not worth it, the hashtags you ask? They say '#youre #still #the #one #i #regretted #for #letting #you #go #tss' and it really hurts because there's this girl.. let's name her Lindsay and well she has everything! They're rich, she's sooo beautiful, has brains, and well she's really nice! And I don't blame Nick for not falling for her.. she's so perfect. But then today.. there's this Election thingy for our school council and he's one of the groups' speaker and Goooooood! I almost died in my sit! His voice is just.. seductive. Very low voice and it has this.. 'thing' when he speaks I get nervous. I don't know anymore. But I don't know.. but he still looks at me sometimes... so after their speech we have this break and I was sitting with my friends just lost in our own thoughts and I know that he's in the stage of our school (we're close to the stage) and there's this group of girls on our front and Lindsay's one of them. I don't want to look at him because.. I don't know.. I feel shy? I fear that when I stare at him he looks at me too. I know, I'm really... a jerk? Something like that.. so what I did I looked at the other direction (right) and put my elbows in my thighs and my face in between my hands then one of my friend said.. ''Hey *my name* Nick's there..'' I just said yeah and continued staring at the left side. (football field) and then she said ''Do you notice that he always stares at Lindsay? I mean... he keeps an eye on her.'' I just said yeah again, *****? No. They're used to me like that. Then when Lindsay left, he sat just infront of the person infront me and facing that person.. get it? So I stayed like that and then my all timeeeeee favorite song played ''Be your everything'' by Boys like girls so I just sang it to keep him off my mind, I have a nice voice.. that's what they say. So when he left I sat straight and faced the stage. So after a few moments the speeches again.. and then Lindsay is one of the candidates for our Auditor and my cousin.. Kyle is the candidate for ''President'' and what surprised us is when they made a duet together.. I don't know what song it was but all I can say is.. Nick looked so.. sad. If he wasn't so far I could say that he's about to cry.. and it hurts me because I know that he loves her. And that he can't love me back. Sigh. So.. I just have one thing to ask.. should I give up on him or do I still hope? For me? I think I'll give up.. 'cause first love never dies.

[Umm..Okay]

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[doggirl2011]

I GOT TIME FOR DAT. ok so you like this guy and he's in a relationship with this perfect girl that you could never measure up to right? ok so I'm going to tell you how to win him back.. ready?
depending on how much time you have... Make yourself better. Whatever you need to do, do it safely and right.
You said you're a little bit chubby? DIET. EXERCISE. DONE
you said she gets good grades? STUDY.ACE IT.DONE
you say he keeps looking at you? STARE BACK.BE GORGEOUS.DONE
you can't be waiting around for this amazing guy forever! And if he doesn't like you it hurts I know, and it sucks because she seems so great and you hate her for it. But think about everything you are, and how much time you have to find love again. And if he's worth it, make yourself the girl he can't resist (but no eating disorders or self hating! this only makes it worse trust meh!) Stop waiting for him, move on a make yourself AMAZING. He'll regret letting you go...I know you can do it. Every time you feel doubt, you just imagine him looking at you instead of "Lindsay" imagine how that would feel. But trust me after you change you won't need him anymore, you'll be stronger and deserve better.