Relationship advice needed urgently?

[Martine]

When i met my partner i knew he had a sexual history with many girls and that he had never been faithful to one girl and i have tried and tried to get it out of my mind and move on with our future together but his past and present is just hurting me and making me doubt if he can ever change and if he does truly love me... we are not youngsters anymore we are both in our late 30's it started when i was sitting next to him a few weeks ago and an email from a girl he has a sexual and emotional history with appeared in his inbox and he automatically logged out of his email account assuming i hadn't seen it, obviously panic set in so i confronted him about it and we had a big argument he told me that he had done nothing wrong and that she was just a pathetic whore and he didn't know why she had contacted him.. the next day i went through his emails and found many more they had sent eachother so after another lot of upset and arguments him telling me i am making something out of nothing and i am screwed up in the head for being angry and upset over it he emailed her to say leave him alone he has moved on so don't contact him.. this made me feel slightly better so i tried to put it behind us and move on.. all was ok until the other day i came home to find out he had been on his facebook account looking through photos of a girl whom again he has a sexual past with, and a few other very pretty girls in underwear who maybe he has a sexual past with too i don't know though, to make it worse the girl he had been looking at he had told me about the times they have had sex and what they got up too so obviously seeing he is looking at her photos has set alarm bells ringing and to make it worse he had been looking at porn whilst looking at her photos, i confronted him and he told me i was sick and screwed up and he hadn't done anything wrong so i showed him the history on the laptop proving he had done this..he told me he loves me and he is here living with me and it doesn't mean anything, i feel sick and its taken all my self esteem away from me i feel like i mean nothing to him and i really don't know what to do anymore i love him with all my heart and it seems he is abusing this by doing the things he is doing to me, i have asked him what is wrong with me am i not pretty enough or skinny enough what??? he says there's nothing wrong with me, so i ask again why are you doing these things and i get the response that i need help i am screwed up in the head and being like this going on about it is pushing him away slowly i am beginning to think that maybe he is right but how can he be if you are with someone you love why do you feel the need to look at someone you have a sexual past with?? and also as mentioned above watch porn while looking at her photos..and to make it worse we are not having sex that often anymore it went downhill when i told him i didn't enjoy him turning himself on with porn like mum and daughter then wanting to have sex with me, we have a daughter ( mine from a previous relationship he treats as his own) and it disgusts me!!! don't get me wrong i don't mind him watching a bit of porn all men do it but it makes me feel very low about myself i feel as if he wants to recreate what he is watching and for me to be like the girls in the porn movies he is watching, he asked me once when we first met if his other male friend could come join us and have a three-some i told him no!! and he told me he was proud of me and that he respected me for that so why is he watching those things now and getting off to it?? there is just no talking to him over any of this, maybe he isn't really ready to commit to a serious relationship? i hope someone can help me

[samruddhi]

Just leave this dork, break up vid this jerk bfor U get too much emotionally attached wid him as it is he wldnt care, so U hav 2 frget bout him and leave him

[Sierra]

Girl, you need OUT. He's obviously emotionally abusive & extremely controlling & manipulative. Any man who does something wrong like looking at his ex's pics & then blaming you is the one who's screwed up in the head. You deserve better. Drop this scum bag, asap. I've been in relationships like this before & it only goes downhill from there. If you wanna talk more, email me at sapendleton2014 @ gmail.com. Best of luck.

XO

[Rob]

His taste in porn doesn't usually mean anything in real life. What he watches may reflect what he would like to try (except i don't think he actually wants you and your daughter at the same time), but it sounds like he respects the fact that you don't want to do those things. Sounds like you need to give him some privacy. As far as you not liking the reminders of his previous relationships, you have a daughter from a previous relationship. This is going to sound terrible but on some level she is a living breathing reminder to him that you had sex with someone else.

[Chan]

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