I need someone to proofread my memo! PLEASE!!!?

[Jay Karr]

Please let me know what you think of it and what can be changed. I really appreciate your help and best answer gets best answer!!1


To: Melissa Varney
From: Jason Karrels
Date: December 9, 2010

Subject: Communication and Social Media
Did you know that there is a market of over 1 billion people that hasn’t been touched by our company? That market includes social networks like Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and YouTube. These networks have been cashing in on small business advertising. Our clients would benefit greatly if they could learn how to use these networks as a personal billboard for their business. If we can train our employees and clients about this multi-billion dollar industry, our company could see a 35 percent increase in revenue.
Social networking is the biggest thing on the internet. According to Facebook.com, people spend over 700 billion minutes per month on Facebook alone. In order to get access to these networks, we need to train our employees and clients on these social networks. As we usually train small- and medium-size business, if we implemented this course we could see a huge increase in customers. We already have an expert in this field, Mrs. Susan Serrano. She has the knowledge and teaching abilities needed to teach our employees and clients about this lucrative business.
In order to help our customers and elevate our revenue, we need to make an investment. We would need to expect to pay up to $10,000 for Susan to design a full course on social networks. Although this may seem like a lot of money, it’s a small figure when compared to the expected revenue increases that we would see in the immediate future.
Susan would need to develop an eight-hour course on “Communication and Social Media.” The course would include coverage of such things as social networks, the most effective ways of advertising through social networks, and how to help increase your company’s good will through social networks. This will be a very in-depth course, and Susan will need a lot of time to prepare it.
This opportunity won’t last long, and we must take the initiative today before someone else steals this lucrative industry out of our hands. Please call me at (541) 975-3*** and we can start the process of implementing this new course. I look forward to your call.

[Esther]

Do you know that there is a market of over 1 billion people that hasn’t been touched by our company? These markets include social networks like Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, and YouTube. These networks have been cashing in on small business advertising. Our clients would benefit greatly if they could learn how to use these networks as a personal billboard for their business. If we can train our employees and clients about this multi-billion dollar industry, our company could see a 35 percent increase in revenue.
Social networking is the biggest thing on the internet. According to Facebook.com, people spend over 700 billion minutes per month on Facebook alone. In order to get access to these networks, we need to train our employees and clients on these social networks. As we usually train small and medium-size business, if we implemented this course we could see a huge increase in customers. We already have an expert in this field, Mrs. Susan Serrano. She has the knowledge and teaching abilities needed to teach our employees and clients about this lucrative business.
In order to help our customers and elevate our revenue, we need to make an investment. We would need to expect to pay up to $10,000 for Susan to design a full course on social networks. Although this may seem like a lot of money, it’s a small figure when compared to the expected revenue increases that we would see in the immediate future.
Susan would need to develop an eight-hour course on “Communication and Social Media.” The course would include coverage of such things as social networks, the most effective ways of advertising through social networks, and how to help increase your company’s good will through social networks. This will be a very in-depth course, and Susan will need a lot of time to prepare it.
This opportunity won’t last long, and we must take the initiative today before someone else steals this lucrative industry out of our hands. Please call me at (541) 975-3*** and we can start the process of implementing this new course. I look forward to your call.\

I am not sure, I corrected all the mistakes.