My girlfriend is on the verge of breaking up with me. What can I do to save my relationship?

[Nick]

I feel like the best way to approach this is to lay out all the information I can on the situation.

I am an engineering student and my girlfriend is a pre-nursing, (soon to be nursing!) student. We are both contracted cadets with the US Army and are training to become Army Officers upon graduation. From the day I met her, I knew that she had something about her that anyone could fall in love with. As we got to know each other more, I learned that trait was unconditional compassion. At the turn of 2013, we fell in love and I can easily say I have been provided with the best year of my life thanks to this woman. She wants to dedicate her life to helping others and saving lives. To me, that is among the most noble things anyone can commit themselves to and it is a huge reason as to why I love her so much. I can't imagine life without her now.

However, there are some bumps on the road that I fear are going to bring our life together to a dead end. Before we truly dated, she had a fling with another man, which left me jealous and very hurt. I found consolidation through my own fling (which didn't make me feel better), which she had uncovered many months later as I had kept it a secret out of shame. Also, I spoke to other friends badly about her in attempt to convince myself that the situation was not my fault. She found all this on my Facebook account. From the time we started dating, to before she discovered the truth behind my constant lying, the two of us could not be separated. Now, this past semester, I feel like she's only holding on out of pity.

I feel like all respect for me has disappeared. We argue tenfold what we used to. I'm very insecure about myself and she is my only real friend so knowing that I am the source for her misery makes me feel like the worst person alive. She told me that she feels like she's dating a boy and not a man and that the only reason she never broke up with me was because she was afraid I was going to hurt myself. She said I was boring too, but I'm just a very shy person and I refuse to drink so I prefer to be silent in social situations. I don't think she accepts that. She is insecure too, I can't even talk to any women friends of mine without making her upset when I honestly have no intention of doing anything that would compromise the validity of our relationship. Also, she has gone from independent to a flat out dictator. Everything has to be her way and if I resist, then she gets mad or cries. This is the woman who taught me that it's okay to speak my mind and she taught me how to love myself, but I feel like I haven't done a thing for her and it's only a matter of time before she drops me.

I think there have been some improvements within me since she uncovered the truth about my lies. I don't lie anymore about anything. If something happens, I tell the truth with pride and without hesitation. She may get mad, but at least I don't lie. The only secret I have from her now is this Yahoo Answers question. I don't talk smack about her to anyone anymore. I have been faithful the entire time we had made our relationship official without any urges to change that. But one of the greatest things to me is that I look at myself and think of myself with pride and a positive mindset; for the first time in my life, I have enough self-confidence to love myself.

Even with all that, I feel like she's only with me because she doesn't want to end the relationship herself. She tells me she loves me, but I think there's a part of her that truly hates me. And now, the guy she had that fling with a year ago is trying to talk to her again and I think he's going to try and get with her again and will coax her to leave me for good. That makes me want to beat him until his face is unrecognizable. Just this morning, she pushed me away so she could talk with him. That really hurt, and I don't know if she cares or not. What can I do to save my relationship and make things the way they were again? I am madly in love with this woman and I want to marry her some day; but I think without a solution, those dreams will stay dreams. For all I know, she could already be done with me and I could be dumped this weekend. I'm really scared and confused. Thank you for your help.

[Jonathan Fulghum]

All right sit or lay down with her and talk it out they'll her you love her or be a man and make love to her like never before.

Be a loving bf

[Sandie Pandie]

For a start, stop being so needy & clingy - nobody likes that.
I'm pleased that your self confidence etc has improved in the last year, but you seem to still have along way to go in feeling good about yourself (Sorry). This is shown when you say "She tells me she loves me, but I think there's a part of her that truly hates me" she has given you no reason to think that she lies has she?

Unfortunately people who are jealous or who are needy eventually push away the people they care for.

Have you tried therapy, it might be worth giving it a go.

[Jaime]

I'm sorry to tell you this but you need to grow some balls!!

The way I see it, it's too late, you are too dependable and she already saw that.
You were not prepared for that relationship and you need to accept the outcome, you will get over it, eventually it will benefit you as long as you are willing to make some changes.

That crazy jealousy you have over past flings she had is correlated to your insecurities.

You need to focus on your career, you really do because it really surprises me your lack of insecurity for someone in the Army to be an officer who already has a career which means you already went through college, you should have learned through experience in college or even at school!

The best action I think you should do is to talk to her and recognize to her the mistakes you have made, finally letting her go. It's going to happen wether you like or not so it's better if is your decision(which it really isn't ) at least you will be prepared for it.