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Why does my close guy friend ignore me when we are hanging out with others or around a lot of people?
02-27-2014, 05:33 PM
Post: #1
Why does my close guy friend ignore me when we are hanging out with others or around a lot of people?
This isn't always true. Him and I are really close like we share all our secrets and have been close together for so many years, we always have such a great time when hanging out. He's not very social and neither am I, though I've helped him come out of his "shell" more...he's very shy and acts kind of awkward around others sometimes. He hates when there's a lot of people and like just being by himself or with just one person at a time, from what he's told me...he seems to get very uncomfortable when around a lot of people. However, he says he loves it when it is just with me and we go out together, and likes it when it is just me and him at the movies where we go a lot to together, or pretty much anywhere when it is just us alone. He prefers things private rather than putting things up public (for example, as on his Facebook).

We always have a great time together and even though he is pretty shy, he's definitely not with me. He is very, very talkative when it is just me or those he know well (I am kinda the same way, though I just talk alot in general anyways lol). Anyways, what I've noticed is just that...he will talk to me and everything for hours on and on, but when we are in public places with a lot of people he seems to just quiet down...as if he's afraid but I don't know why...it's not always like this though, there have been many times (since we hang out so much)where we have hung out like at the mall or other stores and he'd talk a lot to me and sometimes we even do embarrassing goofy things and all...But I notice that this sometimes happens when his personality just seems to suddenly change. Like the guy who was all more fun and talkative and constantly joking around will just go back in his little shell and not say anything and gets paranoid as if others are judging him or watching.

I don't know why he does this, and to be honest with you, I haven't really been noticing as much til the past year or so (considering that I've been almost always hanging out with the guy or we'll talk over phone and all for almost 5 years now)...I just don't get why he does this. It didn't really bother me as much til more recently, and it wasn't til the day that he invited me out with some of his other friends (well more like "classmate friends" since the guy doesn't have too many friends besides me...no literally he told me this, but he wanted to invite more people to our trip thinking it would be more fun)...and I was proud of him for doing that cuz knowing him he usually doesn't like lots of people, well it bothered me when we were hanging out that he just would ignore me a lot when he was with his other friends ( a mix of girls and guys from his class) so that kind of upset me...Like I'd be literally talking to him there and he'd just give me the cold shoulder and when I would ask him later why he didn't answer me or reply he just shrugged if off saying he didn't hear me and making excuses like the place being crowdy and loud, which I know could not be true since he's never acted like that before and he had to have heard me since I was right next to him like less than an inch away, yet he was talking with the rest of the group tagging along, with some even with lower voices (I am pretty high pitched) and all behind us talking to him.

So, I guess that day just really bothered me rather than being fun...as the phrase says "the more the merrier". -__- Anyways, why would he be doing this?? I've already tried talking to him after we hung out that day why he was ignoring me and he just didn't want to talk about it. Things have been awkward since. I feel like maybe I shouldn't have asked or been honest and upfront about what's been bothering me Sad We've hung out since but barely (though I know part of that was because of school) and even when we do hang, things just haven't been quite the same :/ I don't want to lose him though cuz he is my best friend and am afraid of making things worse...

I know I prob shouldn't be worried about this anymore, but I felt my asking him affected our friendship and I don't know why he does this and gives me the silent treatment from time to time... Sad

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02-27-2014, 05:47 PM
Post: #2
 
He probably is a different person around people.

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02-27-2014, 05:59 PM
Post: #3
 
Too long so I didn't read it. I think you should ignore him back. An eye for an eye leaves the whole world half blind.
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02-27-2014, 06:06 PM
Post: #4
 
1. he's shy . .
2. he's socially awkward
3. he's insecure about something to do with himself and in public thinks people
will see it ( i really dont know i this makes sense )
4. he's being bullied and thinks bullies might spot him in public ( that's the worst )
5. he just doesnt like being crowded ( im like that sometimes)
6.he doesnt want other females in public to think he's not single . he wants to look open for relationships ?
7. last and LEAST - he's embarrassed by u in public ( sorry :T ) and wants to pretend he doesnt know u
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