ROTC personal statement , please review?

[john]

Geopolitically, the world exists in a state of change, with situations varying from day to day, hour to hour, minute to minute. Around the world, threats are constantly developing. Ranging from Syrian Civil War spillovers in Iraq and Lebanon, dogged insurgencies in Afghanistan and Pakistan to the Iranian Nuclear dilemma and the Sankaku island dispute. Although we in America live in relative peace and security the rest of the world does not.

After nearly eleven years of hard fighting in Iraq and Afghanistan, it’s tempting for Americans to turn away from the rest of the world, refocusing their attention on twitter, Facebook and American Idol. But, the threats that existed then are just as prevalent today. We must remain vigilant, we must remain steadfast and we must remain ready. Since I was a young boy I have always had a passionate interest in all things military. I thirsted for information. Learning about countless subjects from Patton crossing the Rhine to Caesar crossing the Rubicon. I learned fast and worked hard, not only because I had the drive, but because it was something I was interested in and something I cared about.

Having being given the opportunity to attend one of the top 200 high schools in the nation I have taken my academics very seriously. I’ve taken both AP U.S and AP World History, achieving 5’s on both exams, as well as take numerous collage preparatory classes. In addition to this I have had the opportunity to travel to Washington D.C, attending the Junior Statesmen of America seminar and the National Student Leadership Conference on Intelligence and National Security, meeting Major General Vincent Stewart of the USMC.

In truth, I can’t remember a time when I didn’t want to serve in the military and as my knowledge base increased that desire only progressed and expanded. The reason why I want to join ROTC is because I want to be a soldier. I want to serve my country, I want to challenge myself, I want to go places most people never get to go and do things most people get to do. Being in the military is something really important to me and I’m confident that ROTC will be the first step. Ideally I would like to serve in either the armor, infantry or police branches after receiving my commission, however I am aware that this is all based on the needs of the army. In the long term I intend to remain in the army throughout the whole of my career and hope to achieve the rank of general. I know it’s ambitious, but it gives me something to aspire to. In conclusion, military theorist Carl von Clausewitz once wrote “war is the extension of politics by other means.” It stand to reason that if there is always politics there will always be wars and if there are always war we will always need the United States Army.

[Jay]

Yep, that'll do.

Now what size coffin do you want to order? If you start paying for it now it will be cheap when they bring your mangled body back from whatever colonial war the military industrial complex want you to sacrifice your life over.

Sometimes there are other ways to resolve disputes than by killing people., indeed if you really have studied history properly you'll know that war often begets war just as every action has a reaction. Time to win hearts and minds rather than kill people. I grant you soft power isn't nearly as exciting as driving around with other gung-ho murderous Yanks and killing people, but then it isn't anywhere near as profitable either for the likes of Halliburton. So guess why they prefer murder and killing?

Still if you really believe the crap you have written in this statement then you'll soon wise up.

In reality you join the armed forces to protect your nation and its allies when necessary. Go to Afghanistan if you like and the only thing you'll be protecting is the oil pipeline that is being built. When you are there you'll wonder why the heroin export trade is so buoyant when there are tens of thousands of NATO soldiers all over the place. Then it'll be explained to you that the price for buying the loyalty of dozens of warlords is to allow them this profitable little trade, now if only you'd look away while these over-laden trucks go through the border....

By then you won't be quite as wet behind the ears that is if you are still alive...

Still there's always an IED with your name on it - let's hope you don't get too maimed...I'd hate to see your mother weeping over your coffin.....

[Integral X]

A little cheesy but it's ok. Became kind of dull halfway through the second paragraph.

There is some information about your achievements and ambitions, but after reading it I feel like I still don't have a clear picture of you as a person.

Just my opinion, good luck.

[Bromine]

It is elaborate and has poise. Great job so far. However, I did not see "leadership" at all. You have to expand words on your leadership potential. The current generation of army officers need to be adaptive and creative leaders, and most of all, motivational and inspiring. The Army ROTC program credits itself as the best leadership course in the nation.

As you may know, scholarship slots are dwindling as we speak, due to downsizing. You have to stand out and be different, work harder, and lead better. Remember that when you turn this statement in, go in for your interview. sign your contract, and all throughout cadet-land.

Best of wishes, HOOAH.