Going out with a friend you want to be more then friends?

[annoymous]

Any advice on how to get rid of this just friends label. We have slept together before but it's been a long time ago and she mentioned she just wanted to be friends a couple days ago. I told her she means to much to me to be just friends. She never responded but decided after a couple days to just show up at my work and hang out and comment on all my facebook stuff and text. She wanted to go out for a drink later but I have other plans so I told her maybe after. What am I doing here?

[Matt]

You are wasting your time.

She has stuck you in the friendzone, and you don't want to be there. You can either suffer there and be a chump, tell her that you don't want to be her friend, you are only interested in being in a relationship with her, or you can decide that you are actually going to be friends.

Most likely, you will do the first. You probably want to do the second, but won't. You should do the third.

You go out with male friends, right? You don't pay for them, you don't make special accommodations, you don't act like a chump, right? Be the same way with her. Female friends are great, if they are actually friends. It is a 2 way street. The best part about female friends is that they make great wingmen. Tell her that you will be friends, but she has to help you find a girlfriend. When you go out, you go out Dutch, or you take turns paying. and fair is fair, she can talk about guys to you and you will be honest. Like I said, you won't go for this option, but you should.