Please, help me through this confusing situation with my ''girlfriend''?

[Jay]

My girlfriend and I broke up last Wednesday because I noticed her and her ex-boyfriend were on twitter following each other. The reason I broke up with her in a nutshell was because she went behind my back and told him she still liked him last November - January 2011 and I was scared it would happen again.

I immediately regretted leaving her and I went to see her at her house last Friday. She told me she just needs a break to put herself first and so we can trust each other again but it is not the sort of thing she would say.

Yesterday night I went on her twitter account and searched her direct messages and she sent her ex a message just saying 'hi'. I didn't want to tell her I did this so I asked her on Facebook if she talked to her ex again and she said 'I swear on all I have not had a conversation with my ex'. I noticed she changed what she swore on because she didn't have a conversation with him but did talk to him.

She started saying stuff like 'me and you are still together', 'I was going to ask you back out tomorrow' and it all sounds like a guilt trip so I don't leave her.

She said she wanted a break to put her self first but when I find out she sent her ex a message again she wants me back? did she just want a break to talk to her ex again and see if she can be with him? what should I do?

[Jackie]

You should make it clear to her that your not her back- up boyfriend and if she wants to be with you she can't be talking to him for hours you should let her say hey and how your doing but nothing other than that

[Princess Stef]

You should break up with her, move on and find someone you can trust. You can't trust her and your action of getting into her Twitter account and reading her personal messages is strong proof of that. I'm not trying to be rude or mean, I'm stating the facts. Why do you want to be with a girl that you can't trust? Why continue to put in that effort on her? When there are so many more women out there worthy of your love and respect and affections? What would you tell a best guy friend of yours going through this same situation? Would you tell him to continue a relationship with someone he can't trust? Someone who has gone behind his back? Probably not, so why would you?

[peach]

forgive her and try to not let ur pain run you over

[SavagePixie]

Dump her!! Sorry if it's not what you want to hear but it seems she cares more about her ex than you. She's been talking to him behind your back and she tried to guilt trip you into staying with her as soon as she found out her ex wasn't available it didn't want her. That makes you second best to her.

I'm sorry to sound so harsh but i hope it helps x

[DogorGod]

First,

You way overreacted. Everyone has some kind of lingering feelings for their exes and they fall into 3 categories:

1 - Still love in some way

2 - Hate their guts

3 - Completely confused

She didn't cheat on you, which would be completely different because she can control that. But you can't control how you feel, which is probably why she tried to shield you from that.

You have to talk to her and establish trust with her, and make her feel that she can tell you the truth, as painful as it may be, so that you can establish where you are in you're relationship. In the end it's more important to figure out if you are really meant to be than hurting someone's feeling in the short run....

And if you she tells you something really painful don't immediately react. That's just my advice. Just tell her the truth that you're hurt and you need time and space to think about it. Doesn't sound like the most manly way to go but it's the best way to go if you really want this relationship to work, trust me.

Second,

Yes, she blurred the truth, but it sounds like she did it because last time you learned something about her relationship with her ex you broke up with her. So it seems she wants to protect your two's relationship, and henceforth continue having a relationship with you. Again... need to have a conversation about trust.

Three,

She probably wanted a break because she's confused and hurt. I wouldn't just come out and ask if that's what she was trying to do. Have the other, albeit much harder and suckier conversation first. Big talks like that always suck, and usually don't immediately end with the both of you feeling better, but it's a start at a stronger relationship.