Me, my mom, and video games (cont)?

[Zach]

READ THE FIRST ONE FIRST!! So, I do have a social life.. I have a friend over or i go to a friends house once a week. I go to the movies, spend time with family, and play football. I also have a dog I play with a few times a week. Im ina band. So.. i do other things. I have a social life, good student, and responsible. My mother thinks games are a wast of time. I just want to know how to to get her to support me with gaming. Let me play more, buy me games for Christmas, and have friends over more. I just want her to accept hwr son is a gamer. That isnt going to change. I have it planned ouat. So 60%. Of time is gaming, 40% famkly time and tv. So that means 5 hours-3 hours gaming, 1-family, 1-TV. 16 hours- 9 gaming, 2 family, 2 tv, 3 eat and movie. Help out

[Yuri]

I have absolutely no clue what you want help with, but I will say this: You're not going to be under your mom's roof and rules forever. You will grow up and move out sooner than you think. I'd recommend just putting up with it until then. If you can find a compromise, then good, but if not then there's nothing saying you can't keep trying, but it's not going to lat forever. You will be your own adult some day soon.

[Kara Winters]

My recommendation is to have an open conversation with your mother about the video games.

It is true there are parents who only let their children play video games an hour a day, but they probably also only let their children watch TV an hour a day if even that. I understand your mother wants to limit your media consumption so here's a few things to talk about with your mom.

First, ask her directly what her issues with games are. Not just the fact she thinks they're a waste of time, you need to know why she thinks they are a waste of time. In order for her to understand how they benefit you, you have to understand what her main worries about gaming are. They might be about violence, they might be about age range, they might be simply about the fact it seems to her like you're not doing anything. For conversations like that, I often say, ask yourself why you play games, what is it about games that you prefer to do above say watch TV, because it helps a lot when explaining yourself.

Second, part of the open conversation is also telling her what you're up to. This is probably one of the hardest and biggest compromises when living under the roof your parents and that is letting them know what you're up to. If your parents don't know what you're up to, they make assumptions according to what they see you do. So, be clear with her on what assignments you have in school, how far you are in those assignments and make it clear that you're either done those assignments or close to it. If you done well in something in school, brag about it. For games, you know talk about them like you would a book or a movie. Was there a plotline in a game that interested you? Talk about it, did one of your online friends do something neat with you, talk about that too. It let's her know that this isn't just some solitary past time where you're not doing anything.

Be prepared to compromise. I've already mentioned having more open communication and letting her know more about what you do as part of that compromise, but as you're under her roof there's far more compromises that could happen. For example, agree that there is a certain number of hours of homework that needs to be done before playing. Have all media, like tv watching, movie watching and game playing be shoved into the same category. So say you're allowed three hours of any medium you want, you can spend three hours playing games, but you cannot watch tv or watch movies for that day. This particular compromise is very useful for gamers who actually prefer games over tv or movies.

It should help at least put you two on common ground. However, don't expect her to let you play more than three hours a day on a school night, or even expect her to buy you games for Christmas. I think personally that's asking a bit much from a parent especially since you still live at home and are of school age.