How to deal with the emotional pain herpes caused?

[esmerelda]

So I've been seeing a guy who I had an instant connection with. He's head over heels for me an we've gone out about 4 times. He's been very sweet and attentive and we've bonded emotionally over a very short amount of time. The chemistry and attraction has been very intense. He's told me he wants us to be together and he's great with being monogamous with me. I figured it was time we had the talk. I gave him the facts about it and he said it throws a wrench in things and that he'll have to think about it and read about it. It's not my fault that I have this and I don't feel I should limit myself in believing I don't deserve or can't find love because of this. It's a skin condition and a virus not a death sentence. Anyway.. After I told him he grabbed my hand and said hey this doesn't change how I feel about you and he kissed me. Then he said he still wanted to see me again but I could tell he was more distant with me. I haven't heard from him since yesterday and he's usually very attent

[fizixx]

You were very brave telling him. I'm sure it was scary, but he had every right to be told. He also has to think about it for himself. He may, or may not be ok with it. You're right that it's not a death sentence, but then he does have to worry if it would to get transferred to him in some way. Give him his space....let him think about it, and don't bother him too much. Maybe he will be ok with it, but that has to be his choice.

I wish you both luck

[Parrill Apple]

If it wasn't something to really consider, then you wouldn't have felt the need to tell him. Just have patience. Did the guy who gave it to you tell you he had it? Probably not. You are very considerate for telling him and giving him the choice. Often people will become distant when they are considering something they never thought of before. It's likely he just doesn't know how to begin to approach this. People are indoctrinated to buy condoms because STD's are bad and there is a lot of social stigma going around that is just plain unfair.
It's like someone being diagnosed with a psychosis having to deal with the attitudes created by popular media like the movie Psycho. Not every psychotic person is an emotionless killing machine. What if you told him you had a contagious form of eczema? Would that be anywhere near as stigmatic? Probably not.
Even if he decides that he doesn't want to risk getting it himself, that doesn't mean you can't continue to be really close friends. He may feel so guilty about making the decision that he distances himself, but your acceptance of his decision can change that and keep him as a friend. Just realize he is not rejecting you, but only choosing not to take a known risk. How often had he taken an unknown risk? It almost seems hypocritical. So it's no wonder he would distance himself from you if he feels bad about his decision concerning you. But that is just cognitive dissonance. The more you are hurt, the more he will want to stay away from you because the more it makes him feel like a monster for hurting you. So no matter what, you need to stay positive, loving, and accepting. Tell yourself and tell him that no matter what, you are going to be okay.
Besides, he may yet change his mind later as you continue to grow closer as friends. So don't give up on him. If you make good friends, that's something worth keeping all by itself.