has anyone had experience with a boyfried wanting you to give up male friends, and tells you he loves you?

[Annelise]

I've done all sorts of things to make my boyfriend feel secure, like giving up facebook and friends, but he never makes me feel secureI, its so unfair, he tells me I cant be trusted cos he caught me out for lying, i was only trying to protect my self and didn't tell him something, he made such a big deal out of it, and he makes me feel like im always the bad one, whos done wrong, and he can be trusted and I can't, so I shouldnt have a phone, etc. Then he tells me he loves me and Im the one for him, but then if I don't give up stuff for him, he always finds a really good reason!! he can't be with me!! I don't get it if he loved me so much but he's willing to loose me, all the time i've been with him, I've just become so insecure, I really fell for him, and I feel so cheated and emotionally confused!! im just very lonely single mum, don't have any friends, and very gratefull for any advice x

[Hotblack]

Well, I guess it's natural to want you to distance yourself from male friends as they're potential competition. Also as a man, he knows men rarely just befriend women simply because they like them.

Relationships give a lot but they also ask a lot.. like giving up the single lifestyle. The guy feels threatened by your group of male friends and you've given him reason to mistrust you - so I'm not entirely surprised that he feels insecure. How can he feel secure when he can no longer reliably determine whether or not you're telling the truth.

The fact that he loves you, which he clearly does or he wouldn't be devoting any energy to this, does not mean he is willing to be made a fool of by your determination to carry on exactly as you please. Your external consideration here, appears to be right on the decks.. you're considering yourself, you're apparently not considering him at all

[Roz]

I hate to say it, but your boyfriend sounds like a control freak and unless you are ok with having to tell him where you are going all the time and who you are meeting, etc. I think it might be a very difficult relationship. I've been married for almost 30 yrs. and 95% of the time we know where each is. It's not because we don't trust each other. It's because we love each other and care about each other's welfare. We normally know where our are, i.e. if they take a trip out of town and that way we don't get worried if we can't reach them at their home. It's letting your close loved ones know. It depends whether your situation is a "control issue" or someone who loves you and wants you to be safe at all times. I wish you well.
Roz

[Curious]

RUN very fast and very far away. You can not and should not be continually punished for past mistakes. Emotional blackmail, controlling, belittling you, these are not signs of love they're symptoms of his insecurities. Ive been living this relationship but have recently 'woken up' after almost 18yrs of it. Now when my past indiscretion is thrown in my face I simply say " If you treated me better you wouldn't need to be so afraid I will look for or find someone else who will"