shy, gay, depressed teen starting uni (male, 17)?

[john Macintosh]

Today was supposed to be my 3rd day unto freshers week at uiversity. I have always been very shy and hardly any friends in school, but for the last 6 years of highschool i have had absoulutely no frineds, and most of the time I walked to and up from school alone, and spent any free time alone. I only went out a very small amount of times with people in my whole highschool years. Its not that I am anti-social, its because i'm shy, The only real person who I was friends with who weas similar to my own age was sister, but she alwasy had other firends. I am really at my wits ennd. I am also extremelt depressed, to save time i'll just list my most major problems:

- type 1 diabetes(6 injections a day and still cant control it)
- Homosexual (nobody kows, as I have no obvious signs) and it is so painful hiding your tre desires,
especially when your mother is constantly saying things like "when you meet a grilfriend..." and
my dad making homophobic comments.
- Speech impedement
- Phimosis (tight foreskin which makes sex or masyurbation less enjoyable)
- Scoliosis (curved spine)
- Other back probloems
- Acne
- Abnormal curves in a few of my toes and fingers
- No friends and never had any type of sexual relationship or even a kiss.
- Had to have jaw surgery for underbite, and i am still not pleased.
- Extrrmeely shy

I am honestly at my wits end. I take good care of my appearance. I spend a fortunbe on hair products, clothes, gym membership (I work out 4 times a week and have a slightly muscular physique) etc...I also am a vvery nice person. I always put other people first. I'm always well mannered, respectful, kind, yet I still dont have any friends. I always goit some type of bullying in school due tp a nickname that started in proimary and bever left me ntil I left highschool. I dont trust my parents as whenever I tell one of them simethinh in trust they will then tell each other, then the whole family konws. Becaise I dont really have any friends or trustful family that i can talk t , I suppose I bottle everything up. Whenver I have the opportunity to drink alcohol, i find myself flinging it back, not fr social reasons though, for depression reasons.

I really thoughtr this week (freshers week) would be a fresh start. But I dont live in halls so dont really have anyone I can go with, and the people from my school that are going I dont really know. I went over to the building today to, and that itself took a lot of courage for a shy person, howverer everybody were in groups and pairs, and I didn't want to go to a fair on my own. In fact I have went to go in to the building for freshers week several times since it satared and eneded up coming back home. I just feel ugly and such a terribel person. Why else would I nothave any friends. I try my very best., Any social events I just feel paaranoid, as if everyones talijng about me being alone. I just want to live my life and not liveit stuck in my parents houise every weekend aloine.I have never even been invited to a party, (Well, aactually I was invited to one a facebookbecause the whole year was invited to it, however there ended up beig to many potential guests so the party was cancelled. However I saw through somebody eslses facebook page that the party was on again althought under a different name and I think about 95% of the peopele that were originally going were still invited but I was'nt)
I did'nt even go to my graduation or highschool prom.
Please somebody reply.

[Joseph Fitzgerald]

God never gives you more than you can handle and what you are experiencing will make you stronger. Don't try to deal with everything alone, get into counseling ASAP.
Tell your parents you feel depressed and would like to speak privately with a therapist.

[RoaringMice]

Most of your issues are from issues you have with your own self-image, and your shyness. Your university has a counsellor on staff that you can speak to. Please start therapy so you can begin to work through your issues, because they're preventing you from living the life you want to live.

BTW, talk to the counsellor about the idea of coming out at uni. Then go to the uni's LGBT club, and join up. You will be welcome, and because you all have something in common, it's a place where you may be able to meet some people and make some connections.

But make talking to the counsellor your first priority.

[Iamxoable]

You are really string, have you ever thought of that? You should give yourself some credit for being so strong. Having no friends in highschool and trying to make a change in uni is a huge step and I have so much respect for you. I m w what I'm about to say is kind of a cliche, but never, ever let your physical features let you feel low about yourself becaus entrust me, at the end of the day it hardly matters. You seem like a really nice person and trust me these days, that is rare. Speaking as someone who's an experienced loner, I know how hard it is. But there must be other freshers in your uni right? so build up the courage to go talk to them. Like, next time you're sitting alone and see someone else sitting alone too, go talk to that person and if s/he's new, ask them how they're liking it there and if they're old students, ask them if they could help you out with a few directions or maybe give you at our or something. It's easy to get ignored at uni, but you gotta keep trying. Don't let ANYBODY make you feel like you're not good enough.
As for your sexual orientation, that is entirely your own, don't let your family make you be someone you're not, there is NOTHING wrong with homosexuality and people who don't understand that are shallow and stupid.
One thing that could help you became less shy is the Internet, start by taking to people here. People you don't know, never met. After you've started taking to more people on the Internet, slowly apply that to real life. If nine out of ten people refuse to talk, one will and that's good enough. If you ever need to talk or anything, email me (reahxo@gmail.com) We've never met and never will, so I won't judge you or anything. This might help with your shyness. Just saying
Good luck with uni, and trust me, it will get better. Hold on. Good luck

[Amer]

I think if I ask you to mention someone who is worst than you in his appearance, personality, characteristic, his brain, his wealth or any other thing, you can mention more than ten peoples.
Look to their life maybe they have friends or they are not shy or ...
What I want to say first of all Thanks The God to things you have, you have to be proud of yourself you have a good abilities, for me if I find someone who is nice, kind, has a white heart like you I would like to be his friend.

Shy is good for a certain level, do not scare from making mistakes all make mistake.
In your culture it is a weird thing to have not a gf but in other it is okay.

Anyway you can use your situation to focus in other things like your studying if you improve you thing and get high grades and be a excellent students, they will look for you.

I hope I helped you, be sure you are good and special and there is alot of friends looking for you just you have to believe and be strong.

Sorry for bad language.

[Pixie]

I am so sorry you have these self-esteem issues. I hate to disillusion you but university/freshers, although a great opportunity to make a fresh start, make new friends and enjoy new experiences, will not automatically make you a different person or your problems go away.

Before you feel comfortable in social situations, meeting new people, relationships, and public gatherings you need to first address your self-image and improve it. This is easier said and done, but I want to remind you that your list of "major problems" as you call them does not define who you are or what you do as a person. There is no reason why being gay, having acne, a curved spine... or even two heads should affect your university life if you don't let it!

Remember there are always people who feel the same way, and always people who have it worse. You've made it into university, which a minute percentage of the world's population achieve, so that in itself is amazing. I know it is hard but try to make the most of the opportunities you are given and focus on the positives over the negatives so you can move forward.

[S.M. Blackett]

Freshers week is not the place for a tender- hearted student who is shy.
University is however a place that accepts everyone and is a place where you can blossom.
You need to contact a counsellor who will be able to give you support and advice.
You certainly need to take professional advice to help you through this difficult period and, in effect, it is the perfect time to get these self-esteem issues sorted out.
The fact that you are asking for help is a good sign. This shows that you really want to sort things out in your life.
I am sure that you will find the help you need and your new life can begin.
Very best of luck!

[FA]

Ok, firstly there is nothing there that makes you a bad person. Being as shy as you are will always make it difficult to meet people but it's not impossible. Also university is nothing like school, people in general are far more accepting at university. Don't worry about fresher's week either, people are under the illusion that it's where you meet most of your friends for the rest of your time at university.....it really, honestly isn't.

The university will have a councillor, you should definitely speak to them. It will be completely confidential and it'll give you the opportunity to talk it through in person with someone which will be a lot better than strangers on the internet. Also how close are you with your sister now? Would you feel comfortable telling her any of this (not all of it and not at once, but something)?

As far as your list is concerned:
- There will be an LGBT society at your university. If you can muster up the courage to join it, do so. Not only will it allow you to meet people, it will let you be yourself in an environment where there is no chance of any negative reaction to your homosexuality. You will also be able to meet people there who may be able to help you with your parents.

- Speech impediment. Most people will not mind, anybody who does isn't worth your time. Depending on how bad it is you might want to see a speech therapist but it shouldn't be necessary.

- Phimosis. Is treatable, you should be able to get rid of the issue altogether. There are some exercises you can do that gently stretch the foreskin but it might be worth seeing a doctor. It's also probably worth seeing a physiotherapist about the scoliosis and back problems if you haven't already.

- Abnormal curves. How bad? I ask this because chances are people won't even notice. As a general rule you will always notice things on your own body more than someone else.

- No sexual relationship. Nobody will care, they may express surprise but they will not mock you for it. Trust me, in that respect I was in exactly the same position as you when I went to university.

- Acne. You won't be the only one and it will go eventually.

I don't know if that is helpful in any way whatsoever. As most other people have suggested, you really should go and see a councillor, if for nothing else than just to have someone you can talk to face to face. Beyond that you just have to start seeing the good stuff in yourself, you've got a list to start from right there in your post. With the shyness, sometimes you just have to take a deep breath and introduce yourself (and I say this knowing all too well how hard it is). Finally, things do get a little easier once your course starts, you meet a fair number of people who you instantly have something in common with.

Don't give up and feel free to email me if my advice is any good for you or if you just want someone to talk to completely anonymously. Again though, you really should see a councillor.