proof read this for me?

[The cool one...]

It was a cold and dreary winter afternoon, you know; the kind that makes you want to curl up in a ball and sleep until summer. I’d been at school all day and was looking forward to an afternoon of no homework, an afternoon in which I could slip on my pajamas and stay in bed till morning, an afternoon filled with tumblr and twitter and no cares to be had. When I got home and turned on my ipod not one of the 3 familiar lines found in the top left corner of the screen was lit up.
No lit up lines; No wifi.
My heart literally skipped a beat, internet was important to me, more important than it probably should have been. I quickly called my dad to figure out how long this lack of internet was going to last. I hoped for ten maybe fifteen minutes at the worst but my hopes were quickly extinguished when he told me the internet would be out for the rest of the day. Internet was my life; I couldn’t survive ten minutes let alone the rest of the day without some sort of social media.
I sat on my bed wondering what I was supposed to do for the next four hours without any social media or internet. Soon my wondering turned into thoughts, thoughts of impossible things. I imagined what life would be like in china, I imagined what the first man on the moon thought when his foot didn’t touch the surface quiet as fast as he had pictured, I imagined how much better my life would be if I would just change some of the little things (like the amount of time I was on the internet for example).
My thoughts grew and grew till my mind just couldn’t hold them any longer I rustled through my desk drawer till I came up with a blank piece of paper and I started writing. At first it wasn’t much but before long I had to find more paper to fit all my thoughts. It didn’t matter how much my hand was starting to hurt or how uncomfortable my chair was, it didn’t matter that it was almost dinner time or that I was still wearing my uncomfortable but oh so fashionable shoes, it just mattered that all these emotions; grief, anger, despair, and even happiness, were finally finding their way out. I had hid behind this mask of who people (including me) thought I was but it wasn’t until that afternoon that I found myself. I never fully understood how important it was to let my emotions out in this simple, almost beautiful way until that cold afternoon.
I no longer take refuge behind the safety of the internet. I am no longer just a piece in this game we call social media. I discovered myself on a seemingly simple cold and bleak afternoon, a day that could’ve been just been filled with more blogging and tweeting but was instead an afternoon full of change and innovation.

[O]

Please see text amended with suggestions.
Note the need to use capital letters to start proper nouns like Twitter, the Internet etc.
Also, it is better to avoid the compression of words in formal writing e.g. "I had" instead of "I'd", etc.

One last point, the request at the beginning of the question cannot be described as polite.



It was a cold and dreary winter afternoon, you know; the kind that makes you want to curl up in a ball and sleep until summer. I had been at school all day and was looking forward to an afternoon of no homework, an afternoon in which I could slip on my pajamas and stay in bed till morning, an afternoon filled with Tumblr and Twitter and no cares to be had. When I got home and turned on my iPod not one of the three familiar lines found in the top left corner of the screen was lit up.
No lit up lines; No Wi-Fi.
My heart literally skipped a beat, the Internet was important to me, more important than it probably should have been. I quickly called on my dad to see if he could figure out how long this lack of Internet was going to last. I had hoped for ten, maybe fifteen, minutes at the worst but my hopes were quickly extinguished when he told me the Internet would be out for the rest of the day. The Internet was my life; I couldn’t survive ten minutes let alone the rest of the day without some sort of social media.
I sat on my bed wondering what to do for the next four hours. Soon my wondering turned into thoughts, thoughts of impossible things: I imagined what life would be like in China; what the first man on the moon must have thought when his foot did not touch the surface quite as fast as he had anticipated; how much better my life would be if I would just change some of the little things (like the amount of time I spent on the Internet for example).
My thoughts grew and grew till my mind just could not hold them any longer I rustled through the drawer of my desk and came up with a blank sheet of paper and then began to write. At first it was not much, but before long I had to find more paper to fit all my thoughts. It did not matter how much my hand was starting to hurt or how uncomfortable my chair was; it also did not matter that it was almost dinner time or that I still had my uncomfortable but oh so fashionable shoes on; all that mattered was that all these emotions: grief, anger, despair, and even happiness, were finally finding their way out. I had been hiding behind this mask of who people (including me) thought I was but it was not until that afternoon that I found myself. I never fully understood how important it was to let my emotions out in this simple, almost beautiful way until that cold afternoon.
I no longer take refuge behind the safety of the Internet. I am no longer just a piece in this game we call social media. I discovered myself on a seemingly simple cold and bleak afternoon, a day that could have been just been filled with more blogging and tweeting but was instead an afternoon full of recognition, change and innovation.