I'm relapsing after leaving a bad relationship. Please help me.?

[Jacob]

I was once in a very bad relationship. It was all one way, she was a liar, a cheater and a manipulator to the point where a trusted friend called it an emotional abusive relationship. It took me a long time to realise this or admit it, I still don’t know which one even today, and say goodbye to her. I cut her out of my life, burned and deleted photos, deleted number , blocking her from all forms of social media. Everything. And I was happy. It was hard for the first few days but I felt light. I felt as if I didn’t have this thing weighing me down. I was happy. I became more productive, my family life improved, i was less angry and frustrated, my schoolwork improve. My life had turned around. Even when I ran into her at the shops, it was fine. I wasn’t heartbroken or felt anything. I just asked how she was saying then left, needing to be somewhere else. And I loved that. I loved not only getting drawn back but the fact that I was the one walking away leaving her behind. That was three months ago and since then things have changed.

It started off when I dreamt my best mate was having sex with her and I was so angry with him for dragging her back into my life. And I know it was just a dream but since then, she’s all I can think about. I’m feeling heartbroken, I want to see her, I want to be with her. After the dream I ran into her again. And it wasn't like the other times. I wanted to keep talking, and I felt heartbroken when she left. She was the one that ended that conversation just leaving me like she used to feeling sick. I felt sick after that. I’ve regressive, I’m at square one again.

And it’s so much worse because I came through the other side. I’ve tasted freedom, I was happy and I’m being dragged back. And I don’t want to be, I’ve been there I don’t want to go back. I’m tired. I’ve been through this, I’ve suffered, I’ve been heartbroken and I don’t want to do this. It just seems that no matter what I do, she's always got control of me. I just want to be happy. I’m just tired. Please help

[790]

Find her best friend and bang her, bang ur ex 1 last time and shut the door with ur back to and walk towards ur next conquest

[MM]

"she's always got control of me"

No, she doesn't. Your thoughts are controlling you. Before, you were able to keep it together because you felt like you were getting revenge. What your dream pointed out to you is that's not possible: she is going to move on with her life, and maybe karma won't be as cruel to her or as kind to you as you wish it would. That's life. That's not a reason to try and regain control over your mutual destinies by putting yourself right back in the middle of the whole mess.

What you really need to do is focus on not caring what she gets up to. Don't even talk to her when you run into her; just nod and move along. Focus on other things in your life that make you happy: friends, family, activities. If you don't have enough of those, find some new ones. And if you really can't shake the thoughts of her, get yourself to therapy. But leave her in the past where she belongs.