Did she lose interest or is she scared of getting serious?

[ElViper]

Short version of this story.......this girl and I have been 'talking'/'dating' for about a little over a month now. She refers to our outings as dates now but I don't know if she considers us to be dating. Anyway, before I left on vacation two weeks ago, we had a great time and we kissed twice (we both went for it). We were holding hands on the car ride home, too. Earlier in the night she had hinted saying that she wanted us to kiss the previous time before but that did not happen. That is when I was committed to making a move on her. As soon as I got to New Orleans (she was love dovey, commenting on my FB posts/timeline A LOT) About halfway through the vacation she stopped posting as much and things have rather died down since. We went out last night and I expected her to be really happy and give a hug and kiss......nothing. There were times when she was happy and holding my arm while we were walking. She was her usual happy self but we didn't kiss at all (when i picked her up or dropped her off). During our date, she told me about past relationships, which both ended BADLY for her (last guy broke up with her and then started dating a new girl 2 weeks later). We spoke about what we considered to be clingy, she mentioned missing me while I was away, and at one point she mentioned how we aren't "there yet". I sent her a bouquet of flowers (which i ordered before I left on vacation) and it will be arriving at her house today. Should this help a little? I'm not exactly sure how we ended up taking two steps backwards.......anyone have any thoughts/theories/suggestions? I would really appreciate it. Thanks!

[Amy]

I once was also dating a guy but it wasn't too serious and went on vacation and he acted weird while I was away and when I came back. Maybe time alone lets them think about their feelings and what they really want in a relationship. When she said that you two aren't "there yet," that's a sign that she isn't ready to be talking about the future, and that kind of thing. I am the same way...I don't like to have a guy expect to have a future with me early on. For me, you have to learn about each other and spend time together, be comfortable enough together to realize your true feelings for someone, and that can take time. See how she responds to the flowers; she might feel flattered, but still not feel "there yet," she might get freaked out, thinking that it is a step forward, or she might really appreciate the thought and want to move forward. You really will just have to see how she responds!

[R]

Good news: she sounds like she really likes you!

I think she's sending mixed messages for a reason. She was really hurt in previous relationships, and while she's interested in you, I think you need to "prove" yourself before you get serious.

Have fun with her! Laugh, talk, be happy! Show her you can be both a caring boyfriend and a devoted friend.

[Dating Coach]

Ask her out tonight. See what happens. You still have to persue her....She said you are not there yet, so get up and go after her. That's what she wants.

[Pacita Weston]

You need a more serious observation and find out what are you two are up to. Maybe she is unsure of herself and with you or maybe the commitment. You have to talk about it or you will forever be wondering every time you go out with her. Sincerity is not something you can dictate it has to be earned and respected.. Discussions should be meant for both behavioral outcomes not confrontational. Just ask her where your relationship is heading if you still did not get the clue.

[$$$$$$]

She's afriad of getting serious. Sending her the flowers may have been a little much. From now on, just play it cool. Let her initiate the conversations and control the pace of the relationship. If you try to give it the slightest push, she is going to hit the ground running. Just give her time and let her make all the moves. Even if you go a few days without talking, don't worry. Let her do her thing and eventually she'll come around. Trust me. If she doesn't at least you didn't waste any time.

I was in a very similar situation so learn from my mistakes. I kept pushing it little by little and eventually, she dropped the "I need time to clear my head" line. Trust me, you do not want her to tell you that. She eventually texted me again and I have not been pushy whatsoever. In fact, we only talk once every couple weeks because I'm letting her be in control. I have been dating and approaching new women in the mean time. She ended up texting me yesterday telling me how she misses talking to me. I think she may be close to being ready for a relationship and now that she is, I am not. Haha!

Enjoy being single, bro'. Never rush a relationship.