Do you think I should leave him alone for awhile?

[Bobby]

I've got a friend on facebook by the name of Jared, who I like to talk to alot. We consider each other brothers, and I have enjoyed talking to him very much. We usually get into long, philisophical conversations about politics, religion, and just about everything under the sun. He considers me to be very deep, and has even said that my philosophies, and beliefs have a big influence on him. He's two years younger then me, and I'm 19 years old. I have called on him time and again for advice when tough situations came up, and he appears to have been more than happy to help out. I have complimented and supported him in pursuing his dream of being a rapper. I have even offered some advice as to how to market his music.
I'm a little concerned that I take up too much of his time, and I don't want to be inconsiderate. So I've been avoiding talking to him for awhile, so that I can give him some time to be himself, and talk to his other friends. I think sometimes I can be a little bit selfish without realizing it. Talking to Jared is like an addiction for me, I feel the need to talk to him every time he's online. I don't want to cross any boundaries, so I never bother him with trivial things.
I like to give him encouragement, but sometimes I have a habit of contacting him just to ask him how his day was. The last time I talked to him was a couple days ago. My instincts are telling me to give it a rest for a little bit. After all, I feel like the least I could do is allow him to be his own man, and do his own thing. I don't run his life, and I don't want him thinking I'm that kind of person.

[mrs. mike]

Hi Bobby,

I usually advise people to follow their instincts; in this case, however, I suggest you mention this to him and ask him how he feels about it. He obviously admires and respects you and if you suddenly quit communicating with him, he may think he's done or said something to offend you. Since you admire and respect him as well, the considerate thing to do is to be honest with him and ask him to be honest in return.

Whatever the outcome is, take pride in knowing you've given a young man a lot of support and encouragement and guidance - a lot of 17-year olds don't have that from anyone.

You've done very well.
Deb