Why am I becoming so antisocial?

[Brianna]

I have a big group of friends. But lately I've been contributing much less to the conversation. I've been by myself quite a bit and the friends that weren't close to me became acquaintances-just mere classmates to me. Now I can't even keep up a conversation without stopping mid-sentence because I forgot what I was going to say or saying something stupid. I've become depressed and the only reason why I don't self harm is because I don't want anybody to find out. Just today my best friend slapped me hard on the face because I spilled water on her. My other best friend is socializing with my other friends and has been ignoring me, and leaving me out. I don't know why I even bother to show up at the usual lunch table anymore if nobody's going to acknowledge me or listen what I have to say. I have horrible grades no matter how hard I try, and I'm not very pretty or talented. I am socially awkward and I can't go to school anymore without feeling the need to cry. I've been thinking a lot recently about how I should kill myself. I don't deserve to live. I'm just an ugly stupid thing who can't even talk normally to other people to save my life. I'm sorry that this is long, but I really need to get this all out. Is there anybody out there who is kind enough to help me cope with this loneliness and sadness?

[Robert]

It's normal if you're a teenager, I'm just starting to open up more than I was in 7th grade, it's a teenager problem, it'll go away.Like a slice of Social Anxiety Disorder. By the way, there are people who care about you so if you do kill yourself, you're bringing lots of people into grief with you, just think about that, don't be so selfish. Last year, I had it pretty bad, but one thing I noticed and was smart enough to not do, is that beating yourself and cutting yourself isn't going to make your problems go away, it just f*cking hurts and you'll probably kill yourself if you do it enough and your scars aren't cool, it's just reeks of attention. I know what you're going through, and believe me, you'll start feeling like a j@ck@ss when you realize other people have it worse and they don't cut themselves or kill their selves. Plus, you're going to die with no f*cking reason. You're "sadness" and "loneliness" is NOTHING compared to other people.

[Nick]

Im sorry,you need to go get Christian Counseling fast and find a Christian Church to attend,an not a mormon or Jehovah's witness,they're not Christians. and tell your parents or some adult you trust you can talk to about these problems its serious. Don't ever harm yourself. Know that Jesus LOVES you MORE than you know and died for you and us all on the Cross and will return again. We just ask Jesus in our hearts,forgive our sins,He is Faithful and Just to forgive ALL our sins,no matter how bad. There is Hope in Jesus,He is The Way,Truth and The Life. God has a plan for your life. Also avoid trouble,sin by avoiding premartial sex,abortion,drunkeness,homosexuality,all sins God forgives, praise The Lord,an don't live with a guy till marriage,God has yours and all our best interests. May God Bless,speak to,save you,deliver you from depression,self harm,and give you good Chrisitans, to help you,work things for your good and God's Glory,in Jesus Mighty Saving Name amen. Shalom
Have faith in God. Mark 11:22 Praise ye,The LORD. Psalm 150:6 God is a Refuge for us.Ps 62:8
Read The Bible, and read Psalm 139

ACLJ.org Persecution.org CBN.com more about Jesus

[Fin]

"I don't deserve to live."
I'm going to stop you right there.
Let me tell you. You are completely fine. More than fine, actually. The day I realised that I didn't want to hang out with my friends anymore was the day I started to love myself. Listen. High school girls/middle school girls (whatever grade you're in) are all idiots. They praise those with social lives and value the number of friends you have over your actual self worth.
Being alone is incredible. People always say to find the person you can be yourself around.
Well, for some people, that person is themselves.
Find a hobby and run with it. Ignore whatever people think of you. In your job interview, they aren't looking at how many facebook friends you have, they're looking at YOU. Start now, and be an awesome person.
I can see lots of potential in you already.

[J]

Don't hurt yourself! It's not worth it! You're just turning into an introvert. Introverts are the quiet people. You're not anti social, you're just in an awkward phase and finding yourself and realizing that you're not as social as you used to be.
Try to find an art class or instrument that you might like and put all your emotions into it. Introverted people like you are actually quite common, and if you find something like that you like you'll be really good at it and meet people just like you. Try writing. I'm awful in school and not very pretty, but once I pick up a pen at the end of the day and write out my emotions, I'm refreshed and feel better.

P.s. If your " friend"ever slaps you again, slap her back. As an introvert, people like her will try to take advantage of you and be mean. Don't let them. A friend wouldn't slap you. She's just being a jerk because she knows you won't do anything.

Stay strong! Find your true meaning and your center! Once you have that, no one can hurt you, and you'll love yourself.

[Naro]

Ugly people are usually treated badly and often unfairly. Because they normally appear to be the object of laughter and mockery for the others. That was happening to me too. I felt the same thing as you did. I was often mocked and was sometimes treated meanly by the others. I was so sad, so sick, so irritated, and so desperate. From your account, I conclude that our story and experince are almost the same. The only difference is, that I had no intention of suicide. Firstly, according to my religion, it's a (severe) sin. Secondly, I thought of my parents who love me very sincerely and who accept me just the way I am. I didn't want to do something ridiculous. My life is too valuable to end. It's useless to regret about what happened. I had to think positively. I had to thank God for everything good that He gave me. I tried to think "There are still many people that are suffering much more than me". So instead regretting about my pathetic appearance, I should do something useful and positive. I studied and worked hard to achieve my dream, to be succesful, and to make my parents proud of me. Now I'm working in a large company and making much money.

I hope this can motivate you to do something useful for yourself and for the people who love you. Just ignore the people who always underestimate you. Just do what you like. Think of your future. Chase your dreams. I believe you have potential and ability. You will be succesful, just like me. Your life is too good to lose. Make your parents proud. And show your friends that has left you, that you will become a great person. Make them regret about their mistakes. Ok, good luck!!!

[NE]

Hi there, Brianna

I'm so sorry to hear about what's been bothering you! You may not see this now, but you are so brave and strong for deciding not to end your life or harm yourself over this confusing phase in your life. Although things may seem rough right now, with time they will get better and your trouble will soon have made you stronger and wiser.

First things first, DO NOT feel stupid because you have been struggling with your grades. There could even be a chance that you are only having trouble with your grades because you're mind isn't really focused on them. Even so, just because you aren't a genius academically doesn't mean you aren't a genius at anything else. Einstein even said himself, "Everybody is a Genius. But If You Judge a Fish by Its Ability to Climb a Tree, It Will Live Its Whole Life Believing that It is Stupid." This was said by an intelligent man who, at a child, was called retarded by his teachers because he had speech problems. With that being said, don't underestimate yourself! I'm pretty sure theres at least one thing you are good at of have a passion to do. It could be reading, painting, make-up artistry, sewing, poker, juggling, baking, fishing, archery, protesting, dancing, modeling, scrap-booking, collecting things, putting outfits together, making bead jewelry, snorkeling, gardening, photography, charity work, modeling, singing, vase making, burping, acting--anything!! You seem to be pretty articulate at typing so maybe you can get into freelance writing! The key to feeling better about yourself is to do something you love to do, even if you aren't the best at it. If you still don't have anything in mind than perhaps you should start trying new hobbies until you find one!

When it comes to your friends, you may be feeling negatively towards them due to your negative feelings inside, not because you actually dislike them. Try not to be so hard on them OR yourself, it's nobody's fault here. What you feel right now is common, especially among teenagers, and its okay. Everyone is entitled to the way they feel, it doesn't change who they have the potential to be as a person. Try not to pull away from your besties too much though. Everyone needs someone to confide in or at least to have some support. Stay in control of your life and keep in touch with the people you care about. Think and behave positively. Try to have more fun with your friends if you can!

To get yourself out of the negative bubble you're in, you have to form gradual productive habits and with time things will get better.

Try doing each of these everyday for a month:
1. Accomplish: Get something done. Achieve a goal. Change your hair color, get a piercing, clean your room, do a kind deed for someone, get a good grade, work out, do a chore, accomplish a short term goal you've set. Doing this will make you feel more worthy! (which you are btw, even if you tell yourself otherwise)
2. Don't avoid! You're stuck in your bubble, in your comfort zone. Do something to push yourself out of your bubble to show yourself it's okay to push yourself to the limit. Say hi to a stranger, raise your hand in class, smile, start a conversation with someone at the store, compliment someone on something you like about them. Do it!!! Do something you normally wouldn't do every day even if you look or are scared. Soon your fear will seem much less.
3. Pleasure: like I said before, do something you enjoy. Do anything that puts a smile on your face or makes you laugh or feel good. It could be funny videos, a hobby, a pet, family, friends, a movie ANYTHING. Enjoy yourself at least once a day. 15 minutes is all you need!

Do these for a month and gradually your spirits will get higher.

Another way to help is to learn yoga and meditation. Most people start doing this in their twenties as it eases the mind but why not get a head start??

To help out with your shyness, I STRONGLY recommend joining the drama club or taking up acting. This is beneficial to you for three reasons: 1. You will meet new friends 2. You will learn to put on a brave face and break out of your shell as many drama kids become very confident and 3. You might like it!!!

I don't recommend taking medicine, but I do thing taking natural supplements to help improve your mood might be a small help. You can try out "mood booster", which you can research and buy on Amazon.com.

Remember this time in your life may be hard but it's natural and will come to pass. You will be okay, and telling yourself this will make things so much easier for you.

Try adapting a more positive and relaxed point of view, even though your current beliefs have been becoming negative. With time your mind will get use to thinking positively again. Speak only good about yourself, say one nice thing to yourself everyday and smile at your reflection. Try to smile more period

Think positive and the rest of your life will get better!

Also I recommend letting your emotions out in a healthy way. Emotions are meant to come and pass, but when they are not aloud to be expressed they become held in and they remain there inside of you instead of passing. These emotions come out in uglier ways such as anger and sadness. So to let your emotions go, express them! If you have no one to talk to, write them in a private journal. Other ways in expressing yourself is through drawing, writing or any creative hobby. Or you could scream as loud as you can into your pillow or punch the crap out of it. If you're not feeling that, which you should at least try!...then you could try locking your bedroom door, blasting your favorite song and dancing around the room like a madman for at least 5 minutes until you have no energy left. Once you do these things you will feel a sense of freedom from your emotions, and you will feel better.

Any more questions on learning positivity and changing depression? Just google or go to a library and educated yourself!

You are worthy, important, beautiful inside and out, and unique! Tell yourself that even if you don't believe it!

Good luck gorgeous!!! <333333