Am I falling for my nerdy friend? And should I stop myself?

[Jessi]

I turn down guys quite a lot, I have high expectations when it comes to relationships.

But I was caught off guard when my nerdy friend asked me out on Facebook.

Let me tell you about this friend:

He's super smart, a genius with computers. He does his own thing, he's not a conformer. Which is great, but the problem is, he kinda hates the rest of the world. He's witty, sarcastic, and a huge pessimist. He's got low self esteem, but is prideful in the sense that he thinks (and perhaps rightly so) that everyone in our high school is a complete idiot. I know he's gone through depression before.

So he is the last person I would ever imagine to have romantic thoughts towards my smiley, sociable self. We banter a lot, but I thought it was just friendly. To be honest, I actually thought he considered me to be a complete idiot. So I was shocked when he awkwardly asked me out online.

Not on a date, but to actually be a couple...I told him that it was nothing against him and that I was honored. I just broke the news that I wasn't interested in him in a way that he'd understand: high school relationships suck.

But I don't necessarily believe that. I'm a big believer in face to face interaction when it comes to these things. I love the idea of a guy going out of his way to make a girl feel special. If he put in the effort to talk to me in person I would definitely go on a date with him. And then MAYBE go out with him. I mean don't you need to have some kind of chemistry and/or magic moment before deciding to be boyfriend and girlfriend?

Anyway, he accepted my answer and now in person we're just back to being our friendly selves. Well, my friendly self and his "I hate the world except I find it comical sometimes" self.

But then all of a sudden, I started feeling differently.

I'm starting to develop something towards him that is hard to explain. I admire his intelligence and I enjoy being around him more than usual. When I'm on my own, I sometimes watch his computer tutorials online just so I can hear his voice.

And then, out of no where, I think about just rushing into a relationship with him before but I stop myself.

I mean, we're from different worlds. He's kind of a downer. He's anything but romantic.
I don't even know how we'd act as a couple, like physical contact isn't even a thing he does.
And he for sure wouldn't want to go to prom this year, but I do. And if we're dating and I go with someone else, he'd be ticked.
And if the relationship goes awry, I'm afraid he might get even more closed off towards people around him.

But...I find him fascinating. I enjoy making him smile.
He makes me smile and he makes me want to care less about what others think.

And I think I might be falling for him. Me, the girl who turned down a "dashing" football player to the dance because his comments about my butt weren't romantic enough. I'm falling for a cynical computer nerd.

A boy whose vocabulary consists of words like routers, not romance.

[Jennifer]

Lol if you like him you like him

[ScorpiuS]

wow this guy is a total player, I wonder how he got u with all that nerdyness, damn hes good.
I know u would turn me down but I wont bother, sounds like u and this guy would make the perfect couple.

[Sophie]

This happened to me, I fell for a nerd and It's like 'you hate that you really like him' kinda feeling. I don't know you seem to be from two different planets. You're from planet earth he's from planet weird. But in rom-coms the girl always ends up with the geeky best friend. Doesn't she? And reading that It felt like one of those movies! Lol

But It could be that you like him because he makes you feel good about yourself.

I don't know, this is a hard one but what ever you go I wish you good luck!

[Aubrey]

SO CUTE. I know how you feel. I fell for my awkward, nerdy best friend even though I denied it for months. But, do you really like him..? Let's think about this. It helps if you guys talk in person more to figure it out. So you need to ask yourself: am I attracted to him? I.e. do you think he's cute? Could you make out with him and not be grossed out? That's a very important factor. Odds are, you probably do like him. What happens is, usually, when you start thinking a lot about the guy, you end up falling for him. If you answered yes to any of the above questions, proceed. Now think about the kind of person he is. Would he be a good boyfriend to you? I need someone who is very attentive to me. Are you that way too? Could you see yourself on an enjoyable date with him? If yes, proceed. Would you be happy with him? Now, that's a big question. Would you care what people would say if you went out with him? Do you think it would be worth it (for you)? If you feel like you want to pursue it, I would just talk to him about it. Just say that you do have some feelings for him, but (insert chosen issues here). Don't insult him, just bring up some of the things you're worried about and see how he reacts. Maybe he'll reassure you. Or you could just ask him out on a date to see how it goes on that level before you jump into a relationship. Lastly, can you write a book or something? I like the way you think and this sounds like it would be a great teen romance book lol.

[Paul]

This is something you can try and see what happens. I'm inexperienced due to my shyness. If he is right for you then good. If not, leave him.

[Damian M]

I say ask him out on a date or something, you know see what you have to look forward to before you actually become a couple. I'm pretty sure he would like to go out with you and sure it might be weird for him at first but soon he might open up a little to you. If all goes well you can go to prom together, life is about taking a chance and if works out, it will be absolutely worth it.

[Ronnie]

If you turn down a " Dashing" football player, then you must really like him. I say it's at least worth a shot. You can't help who you fall in love with. Good luck and thanks for answering my questions.