Was what I did wrong?

[~♥♥Bella♥♥~]

So I am 17 and understand that I am a teen with many things I still need to learn. But I am in a good place in life and very content I endured a lot of adversity when I was younger (mostly physical and verbal abuse) and in turn was forced to mature quickly. Point is: that although it sounds presumptuous, I am at least a little wise beyond my years. Or at least more mature. I truly do value respect, integrity, and responsibility. I don't have sex, do drugs, or have rebellious tendencies either.

My parents, and at this point in time, especially my mother, is giving me grief. To me, she is a lot more incapable than she thinks. For instance, I spend more time raising my siblings than she does. She sleeps all day and goes on facebook. She is unemployed (she was fired because she never went in for work) and used to suffer from a compulsive shopping addiction. But I do acknowledge that she birthed me and helped raise me. She deserves my respect. But I feel like that is to an extent. Because she only treats me with respect to an extent (which is very little).

Here is what went down: My parents are strict on curfew - I went to my friend's house and a group of us watched Monsters University (cute movie btw) - I told them I'd be home by midnight. I left at 10:30pm to bring two of my girl friends home. I arrived at the first's house at like 10:45pm but we ended up talking about life until 11:45pm. To be honest, my first friend and I were having an intervention with my second friend because she is struggling with a lot of stuff in her life right now and we are her only support. I wanted to be there for her and listen to her. I had good advice to give her and looking back on it, I don't regret it because it was a night that really made her put her life into perspective. Anyways, I called my dad around then because I was trying to be responsible and respect his curfew, and I had to work really hard to get extra time to speak with my friend. He gave me ten extra minutes... he thought that was really generous... and I thought, has he met a girl? -__-" we talk for hours about the same subject. So 12:10 roles around and I call him back asking him if I can stay over at my first friends house because the convo did not die down.

Not because I wanted to be selfish. a) because I wanted to support my friend b) because I knew my parents did not want me driving in the dark, and I wanted to appease them by staying in a safe place.

He said no. I was trying to please too many people and that I had his car. He was upset that I chose my friends over my parents (that wasn't my intention. I just thought my friend needed me more than they needed their car). I tried to barter. I asked him if he was going to use it in the middle of the night, and he said no. But apparently me waking up at the crack of dawn and coming home so he can have the car in the early morning in case he needed it was not an option. I offered to drive it home and get a ride back and that was a no. I came up with all these suggestions to try to please him, he eventually said that I could stay over but that I was "ABSOLUTELY FUCKED" in the morning.

In the morning my mom lectures me so bad that I am crying (I don't cry easily anymore) and grounds me for sixth months. She also threatened to call my friends to scold them and their parents. She threatened to force me to quit my job (which is stupid because if I can't pay for myself, how is she going to support me haha, we aren't in the best financial situation..)

She said that both my dad and her were offended I chose my friends over them. They felt that I disrespected them and they are ashamed of my actions. I told them I didn't understand why what I did was wrong and my mom started cursing at me. I asked them why it mattered as long as I called, what time I got home? I'd understand if they needed the car or if I was in an unsafe/unfamiliar environment but that wasn't the case. The sole reason why they are upset, is because I did not follow there rule. My mom said straight out there was no underlying reason behind it (like we miss you or you had chores or we need the car). It was simply - we told you to come home, so you do it. It's like they are in love with their rules.

I am obviously upset. But I truly do make an effort to understand my parents, so if someone could explain to me where I was in the wrong, that would be wonderful.

Thanks for reading this novel of an explanation.

[chlie]

You sound so much like me at 17, I'm only 20 now so don't have a massive amount of experience but I would say that your parents don't want you growing up too fast. From my personal experience I found that I pushed my parents away and acted so independently that one day I turned round and they both weren't there anymore. So don't get mad at them, try to talk to them and make them understand your point of view. And in future if your parents say a time, no matter what the problem is, respect their rules.