Would you ask an Ex to be your facebook friend?

[SoAZ Gal]

It's been 10 years since I've seen my ex-fiance and just over this past weekend I have started to think about him a lot and wondering how he is. I know he is married now and has at least one child, but I still wonder. I also know he is on Facebook, and I haven't tried to send him a friend request because I feel he is a part of my past. Now I am wondering if maybe I should? Maybe I will stop thinking about him so much if I do. What do you think? Would you request an ex to be your friend on facebook?

[farkasj16]

I wouldn't suggest doing so. Even though things didn't work out in the past, you might look around at his profile now and get your mind wandering as to where things might have went.

It's been 10 years, and you made it through 10 years. It seems as your ex moved on and is enjoying life with a wife and kids. You'll probably be best off living with what you know and learned from in the past.

To answer your questions, I would not request an ex to be friends on facebook. Just my personal opinion.

[Joe M.]

Hello SoAZ Gal:

My answer would be "it depends" on certain factors... Was the breaking of the engagement reasonably amicable? Did you both call it off? Or was he the one to bolt--and are you still carrying a torch for him? You have to ask yourself honestly, what your motivations for wanting to reconnect with your ex-fiance are; and only you can answer that.

Being on Facebook for a few years now, I've found myself in situations like having to decide whether to add someone as a friend, at their request--whom I didn't really like back in high school (because they mistreated me) or wanting to add/get back in touch with a former friend (or flame) who I parted with on ambiguous (at best) terms.

The bottom-line is it's your call. I know many "Exes" who are connected/friends on Facebook.

If I were in your shoes, what I would do first is (if you can find him on Facebook) send him a message--rather than an outright friend request. It's a decent "half-way" point, because if he messages you back, you can start a dialogue. If he doesn't reply to your message, that would be a good barometer on whether you should even send a friend request.

I've done that with former friends whom I wanted to reconnect/reconcile with myself. If they didn't reply, I sometimes sent a second message (after a certain period of time). When they didn't reply after that, I ceased trying to get in touch. On occasion--I was pleasantly surprised when (after a few months) I finally got a response. Anything can happen on Facebook!

Hope this helps, and good luck to you.