caribbean woman need to choose between NYC, ATLANTA OR MIAMI ETC....to LIVE?

[Jaanne M]

Greetings everyone,

*Please read thoroughly, and this could be longer but I’m writing in a nutshell. =)


I am a recent graduate from a University in California although studied abroad in the Caribbean and Europe as well for short periods (22 year old, Christian, black woman). I migrated from the Caribbean when, 8 and I MUST say that I am extremelyyyyyyy depressed and unhappy because of my experiences *in grade school, *dealing with social media, *American standards of beauty, bullying, *mental and physical abuse, *a lack of a social life and close friends, *persistent ‘bad luck’, *disinterest in the local culture, lack of influence and a lot of money, etc. and *overall inability to fit in within Californian or possibly American society…of course some of these issues came before or after the depression. I AM soul searching as I AM desperately looking to relocate in order to find SUCCESS and HAPPINNESS for 2014 hopefully. I’m tired of feeling soo much hate and lack of desire. I hardly smile.
Examples:
EX.1 I feel as though Black American men (80-90%---of the ones up to age 26-27 ish) hate Black women especially darker ones and prioritize whites, Hispanics, light skinned Blacks etc.…and I’ve always been teased, scorned and rejected, however it's the COMPLETE opposite while in Jamaica and other Caribbean islands. EX.2 I almost never go out…I’m confined to one routine whether that being going to work, school or staying home. EX.3, I cannot seem to make or keep friends at all, I’ve always been backstabbed, scorn or pushed aside. EX.4, I’m always seeing myself placed in a disadvantageous situation of getting into trouble when its not always ENTIRELY my fault although I do take some accountability such as getting arrested for being bullied and assaulted by roommate…(now criminal record), dealing with biased and rude professors who have treated or grade me unfairly a few times or more…

When I go home to Jamaica, I feel pretty happy to veryyyyy happy depending on my overall circumstances as the men find me very attractive with my dark brown skin for one. I also loveee the party scene, the dialect, infrastructures, climate, food, and everything. But, I feel the complete opposite being here in California. I love feeling accepted and desired, but I hear the economic situation is a turn off, and that I may eventually get tired of the issues there…but who knows? Perhaps I’m better off living in an American city where I CAN get a cool Jamaican vibe, happiness and success!

****I want to move somewhere where the *job market is pretty good especially for sociology majors, there is a strong sense of *Black Caribbean people, relatively doable cost of living and spacious homes, exciting activities, *pretty good weather, nicer, more *friendlier people…pretty much any place that makes me feel like I am home. **** I’m looking into cities in NY, Georgia OR cities in FL…. please provide input, and advice GUYS! =)

THANKS FOR READING!

[Boss]

Jamaica.