What is wrong with me?

[Akasm]

I'm 23 years old, and I feel quite insecure about my height, looks, and build, as I'm of medium stature, 5'9 to be exact, and medium build. I've quite often noticed that women will turn me down in favour of someone of a bigger build, lighter race, taller stature, or better looks, which I can understand is natural female tendency. However, I feel that I'm so ugly that I am unable to attract a girl. So far I've never had a girlfriend, I've never had sex, I've been rejected by every girl I've asked out on a date, and I've never even kissed a girl. It is quite sad, and hence I feel quite lonesome. I try and overcompensate for my shortcomings by having a nice personality, or being quite intelligent and interesting; I've graduated college with a high GPA, and I've travelled the world. However, no matter what I do, or how hard I try, I feel as if though I'm not very appealing to women. It is quite demoralising to walk with a group friends, and to see them receive attention from women while I'm to be completely ignored. My question is that am I so hideous that I can't even receive attention from a decent-good looking girl? I have been looked at a couple of times by ugly, fat girls, or girls who like young, but I am not interested in that. I do realise that to a women, personality is more important in a man then his looks, but that certainly doesn't seem to be the case as I've seen women date some of most stupidest, yet most attractive men around. I have been so demoralised by women that I have turned my attention to more constructive activities, such as photography, or cooking, yet it always comes back to me. People always ask me if I'm dating anyone, or if I've ever been involved with anyone. Sometimes I have to lie just to spare myself the humiliation of not having them think that I'm gay. One occasion, I told a girl she was pretty, and she said I was okay-looking, which was a huge blow to me. I have been called ugly, and short my many girls, and at times I ask god why he created me to be so ugly. People often mock me and tell me that I am sexually frustrated, which really hurts. Sometimes, I sit in a room and cry all day long because I can't bear the pain.

I am a mixed race guy, half indian, half italian, yet my face is quite juvenile, and I look really young for my age. I look at myself in the mirror and I've contemplated plastic surgery, but I am uncertain if it would help much. I have contemplated suicide as a potential option, as I am frustrated with my life. I feel as if I can never be happy, and that I am inferior to better looking people, and that god intentionally made me below average in looks so that I can't be as happy as those who are. I smoke a lot of cigarettes just to vent my pain. I don't have very many friends.

Again my questions are very simple.

1) Am I so hideous that I am unable to attract any girl, or even go out on a date? Also please do not tell me that you have seen better looking guys, as people have told me that before and I find it quite hurtful. If you think I'm average, ugly or good looking, just say one of the three.

2) Even though I have tried to overcompensate my mediocre looks by having a nice personality, I can always tell by body language, that no women will be excited to see me. What is wrong with me in that aspect?

3) Why is it that women will turn me down in favour for someone else? Am I so hideous?

4) If you do think I am ugly, do you think there is anything I can do to change it? or do you think it would be best to accept the fact that I am ugly and commit suicide?

Attached is a picture of me, in case you wonder what I look like.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=...=1&theater


Approximately 97% of our communication is through body language, and I can tell what a girl's intentions are just by reading their body language. I know how girls react when they're around me, and most of the time they aren't interested.
Attention: I do have a pic. If you had used your eyes, you would have seen the link.
Here is another link.

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=...=1&theater
Many people often say its confidence that will draw women, but do you really think women care as much about confidence as they do about looks, build, and race? Some girls won't even look at me because I am mixed race, or because I am so short, or ugly. I have been shunned many times by women, and it really hurts.

[.]

Perhaps you are more attracted to the same sex and in denial about that. And maybe women can sense that tendency in you. It might come through in your body language, as you say.

[Pieman]

Insecure about being so tall? I don't blame you, but I think you need to find a gf, for yourself, whose taller. Although, taller men usually attract a lot more girls.
Maybe that will help you. Q#1. I don't know. I don't know you, and you haven't provided a pic.
Q#2. In that respect, I think you're around the wrong girls.
#3. Maybe someone else is more secure, or even more confident.
#4. If you don't have any facial hair, grow some. If you do have some, try shaving it off.

[James W.]

You are being way too hard on yourself. Please please don't ever do anything to hurt yourself - the truth is that you are a unique treasure created by God regardless of what anyone (including yourself) says, does, or thinks. Now is a great time to develop a close relationship with God who loves you more than you can imagine.

May I suggest that the first question to ask yourself when considering whether or not to date someone is, “Is this person a strong person?” If they’re not, no matter how much you like them, how much they like you, or how “cute” or “hot” they are, - please don’t date them. A strong person has good character (honesty, integrity, trustworthiness), a positive attitude (cheerful, caring, friendly, forgiving, helpful, and respectful), fulfills their responsibilities (for handling pains in a positive way, for always trying to make a good choice, for taking care of themselves, for serving others), puts forth their best effort, and displays self-control (of their body, anger, tongue and money).

My suggestion is that you put in the effort necessary to become a strong person (if you’re not already) and eventually look for this type of girl (otherwise you are setting yourself up for a broken heart). Unfortunately this type of woman is difficult to find - but save yourself the heartache and don’t settle for less.

(Please remember that you eventually want a 40, 50, or 60 year marriage - not a 5 or 10 year marriage.)

Hope this helps!

PS Strong men attract strong women like magnets (as well as weak women - so be careful). The best way to get to know a strong woman without dating is to participate in the activities of a community service organization or a religious organization.

PPS A strong man isn't really too concerned about what a strong woman looks like.

[♫★ALEXA★♫]

I'm a straight female and I think you are attractive! Maybe you just put yourself in the wrong crowd of girls... 2) i think you are thinking about that in the wrong way 3) Try to always be yourself and not try to hard! 4) and NEVER commit suicide!!! That is not right decision! You will find your perfect girl someday I know it.
I would though cut your hair...your hairstyle in your profile pic does make you look younger and try switching up your wardrobe! Try adding a leather jacket and nice jeans....just ideas
Just never give up!

[Zoë]

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you.
You're cute! I especially like you're beard you got going there, very nice touch.
Most likely you're problem is you're absolute lack of confidence that your good looking. Believe it or not confidence can be super sexy. Over confidence is just being cocky. But a guy who's confident in himself can walk up to a girl and ask her on a date. Even if she declines, you should brush it off. There's someone for everybody and I mean that! You shouldn't change a damn thing about yourself because there is a girl somewhere looking for a guy EXACTLY like you. And if you get plastic surgery or you commit suicide? What then...
You've left the woman who would love you for who you were alone just because you didn't feel secure.
Smile a little. Laugh some. You're very handsome and you deserve to feel that way. Women can be cruel, but that's probably because they dont get a confident vib from you. Go find a hobby and do something you absolutely love to do! It's the best way to meet new people.... I met my boyfriend swing dancing apply yourself man! She's out there looking for you. Just brush off the bad ones because when you meet her, every day before it will be worth it good luck!

[Isabell]

(1) No. I don't find you to be as you describe "Hideous" or "ugly". I don't have a lot of guy friends, to be honest, but you seem fine to me.
(2) Well, I have two answers for you on this one. 50% of the girls today, are obsessed with crap lke Twilight and Justin Beiber. If I were you, I wouldn't let it get me down. Also, maybe you aren't looking in the right places. Maybe try expressing your like for cooking by taking a cooking class. Chances are, you'll end up near an attractive female.
(3) Not at all. I am female, and I'm going to try and speak for most of the girls out there, us girls have trouble deciding what we want. Don't give up.
(4) NO! Suicide is bad. I already said I don't think you are ugly, so please don't commit suicide. Like I said earlier, Maybe you aren't looking in the right places. Or, maybe you aren't looking at the right girl. Either way, there will always be someone who likes you, so don't give up.

[Jenny-Lee]

Wow. I'm not sure what to say. I looked at your picture and I do not think you are ugly at all. I am thinking that it's possible that part of your frustration is coming from yourself. Confidence can go a long way. Perhaps its your approach that is putting girls off. Try starting as friends first, get to know them before asking them out for dates. Let them get to see your nice personally, your interests and passions. Try and meet girls with the same interests.
Relationships are not built on looks alone. I met my boyfriend playing an online game and knew him for almost a year before even sharing a picture. We got to know each other and then dated.
You could also be looking for the wrong kind of girl. Not every girl is into personality over looks. It sounds like these are the ones you are after. Sure, we all want that perfect looking partner with the equally perfect personality, but in my experience you are either sacrificing looks for personality (or for something as equally important like intelligence) or vice versa.
And just as you feel hurt at some of the things girls have said or the way they've acted, so too do the "ugly" and "fat" girls. Everyone deserves love and those you think of as inferior in the looks department may just be someone else's dream girl.
23 is young to be thinking plastic surgery or suicide. Give it some time. Feel proud of your accomplishments, your experiences and build your confidence in who you are. I wish you luck and good fortune.

[Brett]

You aren't hideous. You simply haven't found the right woman/women yet. What works for some men don't work for others. And while I completely understand your feelings about being demoralized, understand that there will always be some people that always get all the attention while others might not get as much "action" but usually end up much more satisfied in their relationships. You will find her. Just be patient.