Should I stay friends with my ex help?

[Mischa]

It's a very long story so I wont go into details too much, but we broke up about 18 months ago, and for a few months after I kept my distance to try move on.

He broke up with me on the phone, and he is my first love (yes late bloomer), and we were together for a long time, and friends for longer before that. He was horrible to me when we broke up and it wasn't even for a particular reason, I seen it as we were getting serious and he got scared and ran.

So, few months later, after I stayed away, no matter how agonizing it was for me, I received a friends request on Facebook from him. It took me several days to think about it, but I didn't want to seem immature so I added him. Before that I had received a text or two wishing me good luck for college and one asking how I was.

Anyway, for a while after, we had conversations at night, I kept them short and never contacted him first. Then, after a couple of months, he started flirting again with me, etc and the ball spiraled. This has gone on for over a year, and I know I am guilty for allowing it because of how much I love him. However, he lives 2 hours away (not that far really), but even though he wanted to meet up, he never tried to. It's only been in the last few months that I've been getting tired and losing hope of what it all means.

In October, on my birthday we had a long conversation, and he told me how much he loved me, always had and always would, how I've always been his best friend, and how he'll always be attracted to me, and that I'm special to him and how he couldn't imagine his life without me in it.

It was what I wanted to hear, but I was also angry. So, back in December, he finally made the effort to meet up. I looked great, felt great, and I seen him, and we walked around town, talked and talked. What was different, was how nervous he was, not me. He was overyl talkative, and a little awkward. Then when he left, he gave me a big hug.

As I went for my bus, I sent him a message saying, " were you unhappy to see me?, he replied, "Aww no hunny, I was delighted to see you, promise! Sorry if I seem off, worried bout dad and just wrecked."

I didn't know how to take it, so I didn't reply, and got several messages that night asking if I got home ok, if I was ok, worried about me etc."

Then 2 days later we had a massive argument (nothing unusual between us two, even through all this time), and it was basically me asking what the hell was going on. I was confused at what exactly was this we were doing.

And he said, "you live there, I live here, it's impossible to see beyond friends, and I wont tease myself in thinking about it or talking about it, I can't process it! When circumstances change, answers change."

I stopped talking, it was nearly 2 weeks until we spoke again, when I received a message wishing me a happy new year and asking how my christmas and new year was etc.

Well, He tells me how much he loves me, how he always will, how he couldn't imagine his life without me in it, this and that, flirts, but can't process seeing a relationship because of distance, or doesn't want to tease himself in thinking about it because it's not "practical", as he put it.

I'm confused, hurt and emotional right now. I don't know what to do, I'm losing hope and I'm tired too, I don't know how to handle this situation. Not to mention my mum absolutely hates him for how much he's hurt me and his behaviour, so I can't talk to her about this, what do I do?
43 minutes ago - 4 days left to answer.
Additional Details
(BTW) His dad was in hospital that's why he was worried.

Also, please don't make any snide comments, I just need constructive advice.

[Dr. Stephanie]

I'm afraid your "very long story" was very long....too long. Please, if you don't get any replies, try writing again, with bullet points, condensed version, and I'm sure it will help.

[bailey]

Forget him. Tell him you don't care anymore. Meet with another guy. Someone besides him. Tell him to quit sending mixed signals.

[Precious]

Well, seeing by your story. I can understand you love him very much. That first love will always have a place in people heart. (Went through the same thing) First off, he dumped you, over the phone. Thats beyond low. Second, if this guy truly did love you, why would he stop texting you. IF he loved you, he would at least texted you the next day trying to fix things. You should worry about yourself. Try new things. Meet new people. Hang with friends. LIVE YOUR LIFE. He is talking about distance and if it is to much for him, then honestly, forget him. You worrying about him is putting so much stress on yourself.