Threaded Mode | Linear Mode

Tananda Trollop · 03-23-2014, 07:49 PM

OK, I'm getting married after a rather short engagement. Turns out my FH got a girl pregnant. They were never really dating, it was a brief fling that ended before I met him. I actually know her vaguely, we were classmates, not really friends.

Should I facebook friend her? I figure she'll be the mother of my stepchild, and this would be a way to get up-to-date info on what is going on in my stepson's life.
In this case impersonal is good. Meeting her in person could be awkward. This is a passive way to get updates on the stepson without awakward conversations.

I think she generally accepts everyone's friend requests. She has over 4000 friends.

Old Mister Happy · 03-23-2014, 07:57 PM

No you shouldn't. Your BF might take this as two women "ganging up" on him, and you might find yourself without a BF before the dust settled. Let your BF deal with his child and its mother right now. Discuss ANYTHING to do with the child with HIM before you take any action, and you'll save yourself and everyone a lot of trouble.

Pickerboy · 03-23-2014, 08:04 PM

Ohhhhh... that's gotta be tough. No and yes. No, because it's sad and weird for you to be talking to the girl that got knocked up by your Fiance. Yes, because you can talk about your husband your going to kill and maybe see what's going to happen. If he did that before you even got married, he will do it again if you will get married. MY ADVICE DON'T GET MARRIED!!!!

Happy Hunter · 03-23-2014, 08:08 PM

You would be very wise to see how the custody issue works out first. She may have some information about your fiancee that makes things difficult for everyone involved. You may think it's a noble thing to facebook friend her, but it's best to wait on this for a while.

ladytee · 03-23-2014, 08:10 PM

No, facebook is a total waste of time. Get to know her in person if you want to form a relationship with your future stepson's mother. Facebook is so impersonal.

Miss 6 · 03-23-2014, 08:24 PM

I don't think its a bad idea for you to be in contact with her. I mean you're going to be part of their son's life so it would be good if you 2 were on good terms. I think you should send her a message with your request. Talk it over with your fiance FIRST!

Freesumpin · 03-23-2014, 08:32 PM

You have to weigh the plusses and minuses ::
If your husband plans to be a real father to the child you might want to be FB friends just to allow communication.
If not, who cares?
4000 friends but one to many, eh?
.