Why would you want to be friends with an ex? Who has time for that nonsense?

[Mathias...Yes Sirr!]

How can you be friends with an ex like seriously platonic no feelings friends? I just think it's the most ridiculous thing ever that people fool themselves into thinking they can be friends with an ex. The person that usually can JUST be friends with an ex is the guy, usually the girl can have some sort of feelings for the guy which she is holding onto through the friendship.

Maybe i am a little bias but i am 20 and my girlfriend broke up with me about a week and a half ago. We were together for a year, she had broken up with me only to apologise on average once a week for the last two months of the relationship. The last breakup came when she told me if i don't earn more than her by the time it's time to get married she will leave me and never marry me. I disagreed and thought it was shallow, she wanted to cuddle up to me afterwards and i just wasn't in the mood so she flew into a rage and dumped me. It had go to the point where she was dumping me so regularly that i had enough and just agreed and she left. Blocked me on everything possible, facebook/messenger/phone calls. That's been it really, before she left after breaking up with me she said we should have no contact during christmas holidays which ends Jan 28th and that then afterwards we can try and be friends as i am an important person in her life who she doesn't want to lose completely.

Now my view on this is, why on earth would i want to be friends with her, but maybe it's because it's been a week. Also before our final breakup, she would sometimes say after breaking up with me that maybe she could keep me as a friend so i'm an option for her in the future?? Like i am some dog who is going to wait for her just in case she doesn't find anyone else. Just her saying that kinda proves why being friends is wrong, because her intentions of friendship isn't so we can hang out, it's so she can hang onto me and not let me go completely. I think this is how most friendships with ex's are, with one person wanting to just hold on so they have the option of getting back together.
I remember my friend was like as long as you don't hate the girl you can be friends why not. He is friend with his ex, but he is the person who wants to hang on. Everytime he tells me how she got a new boyfriend and he's jealous, how he's trying to tempt her to have sex with him again or how he is trying to get her back etc. Is that really a friendship when one of them is having that kind of thoughts?

I just think i should just move on like how would our friendship even work out, like ohh hi how was uni today, ohh i had a great lecture type sh!t? What is the point of that if that's the friendship, and if it progresses to us hanging out all the time, talking all the time laughing together, then we might aswell be in a relationship again which is something i don't want. Also how can you move on seriously when you are friends with your ex. How would i forget about her and get over her if i spoke to her everyday. This past week has been hell for me man, i've cried over this girl, her blocking me hurt me even though i feel like i've gotten over it now. Even when we broke up she told me how she think's i'm not on the same intelligence level as her and how i'm immature and don't understand women and blah blah blah. She completely insulted, dumped and blocked me and i'm going to be her friend really. Like aside from that i was hurt/sad for the first week but now i don't really have any anger towards her. But i don't have any desire to be friends with her either, i don't even like the controlling manipulative person she became with telling me how i must be here to marry her or else. Why would i want to be friends with that? On the other hand perhaps if we are just friends the emotional side of things will be discarded so we could just enjoy eachother's company as friends. But for me personally i just want to move on and by being friends with my first love won't help with moving on and meeting new people. Besides i do feel like her wanting to be friends is someway of her keeping a piece of me with her kind of, like having a small link to me. In my opinion if we are not together i don't want anyone to have a link or piece of me i just want to move on and forget. Am i wrong for feeling like this?

[Jayjay]

I don't think you're wrong for feeling like that I do I do on the topic of exs being friends. I am a girl and if I broke up with someone I wouldn't do...that. She seems ridiculous to me. Move on and if you don't want to be friends don't let it get to you.

[Kristin]

You're only 20 yrs old. You still have a lot of growing up to do and a lot to learn about life. It's normal to feel this way at your age.
You're probably going to date and breakup with many more people before you find the one who possesses all the qualities you are looking for.
It is possible to be friends with an ex but not until all the anger, jealousy and sadness is gone. Once you are completely over the person, have forgiven them and no longer have any negative or romantic feelings toward them you can be friends. You will be able to see them dating other people and it won't bother you. I'm very good friends with one of my exes.

[Pepsi Plunge]

You're not wrong at all and hopefully, nobody who knows you (friends and family), will make you feel bad for not wanting to be friends with your ex or any future girlfriend you have who may end up being screwed up to you.
I'm older than you (I am 29 but I look younger) and I've only had 2 girlfriends but they were messed up to me.
Both of them told me that I can be "friends" with them but they weren't serious.
Why would I want to be friends with them though?
My first girlfriend whom I met in high school, dumped me because she liked another guy.
She went out with the guy she liked over me, not that long after dumping me.
I stayed nice to her for a while after she dumped me until she lied to one of her friends saying that I used to hit her and that I stalked her after she dumped me.
I'll admit to having a bad temper but I never lost it on her and I never stalked her.
I gave her a birthday present along with a birthday card that I wrote inside, saying that I didn't hate her.
She thanked me at all for the present and the card.
Months after this, we were together with other people one night at debate camp (she was one of my debate team members and I met her when she joined the team), she flirted with a guy from another high school in front of my face!
I ended up having a math class with her my senior year in high school but I ended up ignoring her.
She oddly said, "hi," with a smile on her face like a week before I graduated and I still ignored her.
My second/last girlfriend dumped me through text messages nearly 6 years ago.
I was with her for close to 8 months.
Despite telling me that I was her most mature/sweetest boyfriend, she never said, "I love you" only "I like you."
While I was her boyfriend, she was embarrassed to have me meet her family and kept me a secret from them (I did meet a few of her friends though).
She criticized everything about me, made cruel jokes about me to my face and would get mad often over small things.
She would complain about certain people and complain about things.
She lied a lot and was sneaky like keeping in touch with her ex boyfriend before me whom she told me about and was a jerk who she claim drove her to drinking and eating a lot.
She also secretly go on a personals site that she had a profile on to find another boyfriend.
Both of my ex girlfriends thought that I hated them and maybe I should've.
There's a great movie that I recommend that you might want to check out seeing someday called, "500 Days of Summer," if you haven't seen it.
The male character, Tom, ends up feeling miserable for a longtime over a girl he thought he belonged with who ended up dumping him.
He ended up realizing that he had to move on.
To me, I would never want to be friends in the future with a girl who may end up dumping me.
Telling an ex, "we can be friends," is so that ex who does the dumping, doesn't come off completely screwed up.
I'd rather keep my self-respect and just move on.
Again, you're not wrong in how you feel about not wanting to be friends with an ex and just move on.
Being friends with an ex is fine IF you and an ex mutually break up and the relationship wasn't horrible.
I hope that I've helped answer your question and take of yourself. I mean it. ~ Alan