What does he want from me?!?

[Lauren]

Ok, so there's this guy that I met on a night out 6 months ago and I can't figure out what he wants from me.

At first, when we hooked up for the first time - he made it clear that he didn't want a girlfriend, which I respected. However, because I wanted one, I decided to leave him alone and didn't text him back for a few months.

But about a month ago, he kept texting me - trying to make conversation with me and asking to see me. So I eventually gave in and we had an amazing time!

However, things seem different. The last time we met up (Monday) he began talking about his family and really started opening up to me. What's more, we made plans on the spot to see each other again next week (we both work weird shifts so seeing each other is an issue) we've made plans to go to concerts, he's said he'd like to go on a night out with me and my girlfriends. And what's has thrown me is, he doesn't care about who knows us - which has really confused me seeing as I thought he was only after one thing. We talk everyday and we have hooked up a few times.

I'm really confused and hope someone could shed some light on the situation!
Synergy, we are friends on Facebook and it was before he was more interested in me.

I told him how I felt about him months ago
I told him how I felt months ago and his answer was that he didn't want a girlfriend.

[synergy]

Sounds like he already had a girlfriend when he got with you to begin with. If you've got something good out of it then just be happy about it. Also, has he added you on Facebook and if so was it before or after he was more interested in you?

Edit: Tagboy makes a good point about it being a possible self defence mechanism. He might have assumed you only wanted a bit of fun and didn't want to put himself in a position of potential rejection. Depends on how he brought it up though. Perhaps make some edits so we can read what you're thoughts are now. A discussion would be the best way to resolve this i think.

Maybe your technique of ignoring him worked to spark his interest. Did you post up pictures of yourself with other guys and have lots of blokes commenting on your statuses etc. He might have recognised that you've got other options and cashed in while he could. Perhaps the reason it seems different than before is because now he likes your personality. It's unlikely he really got to know you when you slept with him the first time even if you thought you knew him.

This is quite a tough one to get your head around.

Why don't you just ask him about it?

There is a small chance that he had his eye on someone else at the time when he said he didn't want a relationship but then she became unavailable so he moved on. Although the fact that you get on so well can only be a good sign even if that is the case which it probably isn't. Ask him about it and look for signs of guilt or panic in his face when you ask him. Women are naturally better at reading emotions from faces so you should be able to do it quite well. But then there are so many possibilities for a certain reaction. He may show a look of panic because he fell in love with you by reading your Facebook profile, it's unlikely but my point is there's no definate way to read people unless you ask specific questions that either require a yes or no. Or you could just not ask him at all, forget about it and make up your own explanation for it. I personally wouldn't mind being asked such a question. Are you avoiding asking him because you're afraid of what you might find out? Here's a book that will teach you how to interrogate people if you're interested. Women do it anyway so you may as well get good at it.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/What-Every-Body-...y+language

[Andrew]

Hello lauren

I think it is clear that your male friend obviously wants a relationship. I think he wants to take it slow now and I think he has given it a lot of consideration and decided he is now ready to take your thing forward. I hope you have a good time with him.

Prof.Duthie

[tagboy]

Your right many guys start out trying to get in your pants, then something comes over them and start to like you which throws them into a dizzy because then they haven't a clue how to proceed.

he made it clear that he didn't want a girlfriend a defense mechanism more then likely to offset the chance he would be rejected. Relationships are tough aren't they.