I'm relapsing after leaving a bad relationship. Please help me.?

[Jacob]

I was once in a very bad relationship. It was all one way, she was a liar, a cheater and a manipulator to the point where a trusted friend called it an emotional abusive relationship. It took me a long time to realise this or admit it, I still don’t know which one even today, and say goodbye to her. I cut her out of my life, burned and deleted photos, deleted number , blocking her from all forms of social media. Everything. And I was happy. It was hard for the first few days but I felt light. I felt as if I didn’t have this thing weighing me down. I was happy. I became more productive, my family life improved, i was less angry and frustrated, my schoolwork improve. My life had turned around. Even when I ran into her at the shops, it was fine. I wasn’t heartbroken or felt anything. I just asked how she was saying then left, needing to be somewhere else. And I loved that. I loved not only getting drawn back but the fact that I was the one walking away leaving her behind. That was three months ago and since then things have changed.

It started off when I dreamt my best mate was having sex with her and I was so angry with him for dragging her back into my life. And I know it was just a dream but since then, she’s all I can think about. I’m feeling heartbroken, I want to see her, I want to be with her. After the dream I ran into her again. And it wasn't like the other times. I wanted to keep talking, and I felt heartbroken when she left. She was the one that ended that conversation just leaving me like she used to feeling sick. I felt sick after that. I’ve regressive, I’m at square one again.

And it’s so much worse because I came through the other side. I’ve tasted freedom, I was happy and I’m being dragged back. And I don’t want to be, I’ve been there I don’t want to go back. I’m tired. I’ve been through this, I’ve suffered, I’ve been heartbroken and I don’t want to do this. It just seems that no matter what I do, she's always got control of me. I just want to be happy. I’m just tired. Please help

[PEGGY S]

In a truly loving relationship it will take longer than a few months to get over her. You just liked the feeling of being single again for awhile. You had never dealt with your feelings. just stay busy and don't let her upset you like that. Avoid seeing her until you feel better. You should also start dating again.-- not getting serious, but just dating. it will help your ego and help you to move forward. You did the right thing. Now don't blow it by going back into a bad situation. We tend to only remember the good times and block the bad times from our minds. Don't do that. Make sure you keep reminders of all she did to abuse you emotionally, so that you will stay on track.

The following is a site where you can learn about the 5 stages of letting go from an abusive relationship:
http://shrink4men.wordpress.com/2009/07/...ine-woman/

[Crystal Carrillo]

Hey
I was in a abusive relationship both verbally and physically. I was with the guy for a year. Anyways its been 8 months since I left him. I know what you are going through. I felt happier, my school work improved, I started talking to my friends and family again. I was happy but then he tried contacting me and I didn't answer but it hurt a lot. I wanted to be with him again I missed him so much. You go through the emotions and you will feel happy sad or mad all at different points. The pain doesnt go away but it gets better with time. You have to be strong and remember what it is she did to you. You deserve better and your family and friends want to see you happy and well. I hopee this helps

[Adam Shinn]

Get advice in real life stop wasting your time here

[scenicjj]

Don't take her back, that relationship is toxic. You are just hitting a rough patch in your recovery, you will get through it. Hold on and be strong, you can do it. Believe me life has better things in store for you, let her go.

[HoHo]

It's probably your fault. From previous questions you've answered with snarky, sarcastic responses, it wouldn't surprise me.