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How to get over my old friend?
03-24-2014, 10:23 AM
Post: #1
How to get over my old friend?
Well I know 100% sure we not gonna be friends again. Ehh partial the reason is b/c it was about christmas & I didn't wanna tell him his christmas gift. He called me a name(d**k) so i called him a a**hole. Well a week later i told him happy new year & he said "same to u... dont reply" I was shocked he responded. Days later I tried texting him on "Kik". I did so like 3days straight.

I learned on "Kik" theres a way of knowing if your message just being straight up ignored & he did. He do be on site but not opening my message so it can say "read". I JUST learned that technique b/c i legit thought he didn't get the messages.

How to get him out of mind? We did date(we are gay... still act like dudes tho) and whats making the process of cutting him off hard is he was my 1st time. And in a way were friends with benefits but I gotta let go but how? I know he gonna message me in couple weeks b/c of my bday.. he didn't block me too but I HATE bein ignored

We are 17 & please go somewhat in depth with answers.
We dont go to same school but he was mad with a lot of people after our convo b/c apparently they agreed.

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03-24-2014, 10:31 AM
Post: #2
 
Whatever you eventually do, you do need to give this guy some space. If someone is mad at you, poking at them for attention isn't going to make them any less mad. It is only after they have calmed down that you have any chance of having a sensible conversation. So step one is : leave him alone.

Now the "leaving alone" cuts both ways. You don't send him messages, but equally you do not read or answer his. You would be better cutting off all contact. That means ignoring (or better still deleting unread) any messages. Refrain from checking his social media to see what he's doing.If you can't resist it, remove his number and other details. Step two is: no contact.

To stop yourself brooding, you need to be busy. It is time to make the most of your other friends. It is also a good time to take up something new - something in which your e isn't involved and which will not call up his memory. So step three is: be busy

Hard as it is going to be, you need to stop thinking about him. When you find yourself thinking about him, you need to deliberately think of other things. Your mind will drift back but you need to persevere. It does get easier over time. Step four is: don't think about him.

Don't forget to look after yourself. You may feel that carbs, fat and sugar are what you want but you will feel better if you eat a healthy diet and take some exercise. Exercise. particularly, is a really good way of lifting your mood. Step five: live healthily

Other mood enhancers are music and laughter. Singing is very good. This is the time to watch all those television comedies you really like, and to listen to the music to which you like to sing-a-long. Step six is: laugh

The last step is one that you can't influence much. Getting over anything takes time. Even if the split was obviously the best thing to do, there will still be memories and feelings to deal with. Fortunately time has a tendency to pass whatever you do.How much time varies from person-to-person and from situation-to-situation and it often takes longer than you think. Step seven is : give yourself time

Finally, I am just going to mention about learning something. You can't alter the past so there is not point replaying it over-and-over in your head. All that does is fix you in a past you can't alter, and stops you living in your present (and missing the opportunities available to you). Learn from your mistakes but don't fixate on them.
One mistake you made is the FwB business. This only works if both of you are equally detached. If one has "feelings" or is involved, then that person gets hurts.

Best wishes

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