PLEASE HELP!! still in love with ex, lost my unborn baby, suicidal, I don't know what to do anymore?

[Lucinta]

Okay so heres the thing and this may be long but bare with me please i'll try make it shirt as possible; I need help and advice I'm litterally so depressed and the advice would help alot, from anyone.

I'm almost 18 years old and my ex boyfriend is 19 years old we first stRted datinf when I was 15 years old and we've known eachother for years! Our first relationship lasted only 5 months, he broke up with me because he couldn't deal with my childish behaviour I was 15! what did he expect... He broke up with me the night before I had to have an operation on my legs, I was so heart broken because him and I lost our virginitys to eachother and we were eachothers first relationship. I texted him for 6 months, yeah, 6 months begging for him back. I then decided to grow up and stop texting him or calling, I let him go. 3 months later he added me on Facebook we started talking and decided to meet up and we then got back together after 8 months, I was turning 17 I matured ALOT while we were broken up.

When we got back together, he said he loved me more than ever and that he couldn't get over how beautiful I was, he said he loved me more thn anyone he would tell
me everyday as I would tell him the same. he admitted he didn't love in our first relationship he just "really liked" me and I was happy he admitted it, but he said this time was different and that he was inlove with me.

We couldn't stay away from eachother, I was inlove and still am. Hw then moved in with me at my parents my parents didn't mind as we are close to him. He payed rent, ahopped for my mum and helped around the house so he wasn't using me or my family. He would cuddle me all night, kiss me, say the sweetest things to me, I was so happy! we both were! the thing is, he has a problem with weed, his a pot head and is addicted to it if he didn't have it he would turn agressive it ruined him but I stayed with him, because I love him.

After 7 months of being together, I fell pregnant at 17 I don't know how it happend because I was on birth control(Depo shot) but it happend, he wanted me to have an abortion I said "No, i'm keeping it" thats when the "fairytale" ended. We just argued all the time, nothing was the same. I then lost the baby sadly and ended up very depessed, I called my boyfriend and said I wanted to break up with him but I didn't mean to break up with him, i didn't actually want to I was just depressed and didn't know what I was saying, I wish he understood that. He then came home, crying, crying his eyes out. Holding me, telling me he loves me but he couldn't be wirh me anymore, it was roo much. I was shocked so as he was holding me both crying he got up and said "i'll call you tonight, i'll always love you beautiful and want to remain friends, I love you always" then left.

We tried to stay friends, that didn't last long. 2 weeka or maybe even a week after breaking up with me I found out he was with a 14 YEAR OLD GIRL!! We then lost all contact because i got angry and abused him and his new girlfriend over Facebook. I haven't heard from him in 3 months, his girlfriend once inboxed me trying to make me jealous talking about their sex life and my abortion saying "haha how'd your abortion go? " but I blocked her because shes an immature *****. All his family hate her shes already cheated and broken up with him twice according to his sister who is my friend. He says he loves her but deep down I know shes ******* with his emotions from what his sisters told me, shes a little sl*t(my ex's new gf)

Anyways, after everything why do I still love him and cry for him?

sorry its so long! thank you so much everyone who reads and answers
xo!

[MizzB]

The guy is a jerk. You're far better off without him. See a counselor for your emotional problems - life will go on and you'll be fine.

[Namitha]

1


Think about the path of inner happiness. Happiness research has found that happiness comes 90 % from within and only 10% by external things (partner, money, career). Organize your life wisely, be centered by inner happiness and health. Find exercises that make you happy and healthy.


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2


Be active. Happy people have positive goals and positive tasks. Proactive people are 15% more satisfied with their lives compared to more passive people. Happiness researcher Ed Diener explains, “happy people set goals for themselves again and again.”



3


Do sports. Regular physical activity keeps the body healthy and makes the spirit happy. Daily walks raise the level of happiness 12%.



4


Do good. Those who regularly do good things for others are 24% happier than those who only live for themselves. John A. Schindler wrote, “live as a giving person. Those who give are happier than those who only take.”



5


Live in the right balance of rest and activity. Scientific research shows that relaxed people think more positively and are happier. Where that point of balance between rest and activity lies, must be decided for oneself. Everyone needs to experiment a little to find this correct balance.



6


Think positive. Those who think positively double their chance to realize happiness.



7


Watch only a little TV. Scientific research states, „ every hour of television lowers the general quality of life by 5%“. The way to positive TV viewing consists of: a) choose your programs carefully. Avoid negative films. b) Find the correct amount of TV. Children should watch a maximum of one hour per day of television. c) After watching TV, one should practice some form of spiritual exercise (such as yoga, meditation, walking, reading, contemplating the meaning of life).



8


Foster friendship. Build on your positive circle of friends.



9


Facilitate joy. Those who put little elements of joy in their lives can raise their overall happiness by 20%.



10


Have humor. Those with a good sense of humor raise their positivity by 33%. We should foster our sense of humor and learn to not take things so seriously. We should learn to laugh at our selves. Those who are able to do so, can live lighter and brighter. It is good to see cheerful films, read funny books, and to visit joyful people.



11


Have self confidence. Happy people believe in themselves. They believe in their goals, their wisdom, and their power. They see themselves as winners. They believe they will prevail in the long term.



12


Find a positive thought. "My positive thought is ... (forward with optimism!)"







The Spiritual Centering
The most important thing in life is the spiritual centering. The spiritual centering consists of the personal philosophy of life. A spiritual centering should include the five principles of love, peace, truth, strength and joy. If we live with wisdom according to these five principles, we grow into happiness, into enlightenment, into a life in the light (in God, in fulfillment).


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Basically, the path of inner happiness consists of health practices and of mental work. Health exercises are sports (walking, jogging, biking - if necessary on the exercise bike), yoga and meditation. Add to this a healthy diet. Mental work means to avoid negative thoughts and to encourage positive thoughts. Negative thoughts lead to internal tensions, the destruction of the health and to bad social relationships. They are often associated with feelings such as fear, anger and addiction.

Positive thoughts create positive feelings and a constructive external behavior. Positive thoughts we get by self-reflection, positive intentions and reading in positive books. Important is a constant attention to the inner thoughts, feelings and positive life principles (love, peace, truth, strength, happiness). Recommendable are the philosophy of happiness (Epicurus), Buddhism, Christianity and Yoga. The positive psychology found many good ways to live a happy life. It is important that we are always in touch with ourselves, our inner truth and love. A spiritual teaching gives us an orientation. For proper application in our concrete situation we are responsible for ourselves. What is good for us? What brings us forward on the path of happiness? What is useful to build up a happy world?

The easiest way of spiritual centering is the daily reading in a spiritual book. We can also read something positive in the internet. We must not read much. A small text, a meditation a day is enough to keep us on the path to lasting happiness. For many people a daily oracle card is helpful to get a positive outlook on life. For this we need each day just a minute. That time has everyone. The gain is long term immeasurable.

Think about your daily happiness practice. How can you integrate The Five

[Jackie]

Hi Sweetie- I remember feeling EXACTLY like your feeling years ago and my boyfriend could be described in exactly the same way. He was Also a pot head but I was in love. I can tell you the best thing you can do is walk away/shut the door on this guy permanently and move on with your life. It seems like the end of the world now but things will get better and you will find happiness. You are very young so concentrate on YOU. Finding out what makes you happy, what are your goals, dreams etc. Take classes, learn new things, read book, meet new friends that inspire you and take time to think about where you want your life to go. Find role models, do an internship and work on you and career goals. Years later you will be glad you did trust me! Great things are ahead of you even though you can't see that right now!
Hugs.