Is my wife hiding something from me?

[James]

My wife has all my login information to everything of mine. I caught her messaging another man on facebook, so now she has changed all her passwords. She's even doing Snapchat...All she seems to talk to are guys...but shes into women too. She wants to go to raves without me. Which she says is just for the music. Is she hiding an affair from me? How do I tell if she has cheated or is thinking of cheating?

[Roosh]

Certainly hiding something. What other reason would there be to change passwords?

[Arieh]

Hire a P.I. and get back to me.

[ranger_co_1_75]

If you can't tell that she is cheating by the things she is currently doing, the only way you will be able to tell will be to see her in bed with another man.

Wake up and smell the coffee, then go see a divorce attorney

[Keiff Murray]

She is either cheating or trying to cheat. Plan and simple. She wants to go to raves for the music? We are talking about an older married woman. She wants to go to raves without you to take e and get f&cked. Sorry, you should just get rid of her.

[Dough Boy]

Perhaps you can shake it up in the bedroom, it is obvious your not floating her boat anymore.

[Denise]

I would think that she's cheating or tempted to. First, without trust, your relationship is doomed. So the fact of the matter is that she wouldn't need to change any passwords if you weren't snooping. But at the same time, if she wasn't hiding anything either, it wouldn't matter. I don't know any husbands or boyfriends that would allow their wife or girlfriend to communicate with guys the way you allow do. Its just not really acceptable. Friends that were friends before you got together is fair game. But other than that, its unacceptable.

Put your foot down. Next time your wife wants to go to a rave or anywhere that she does not want you to accompany her to, just GO. She can't go, unless you do too. Based on her reaction, you will know. Then you have a decision to make, you aren't going to harass her every time. So you either, leave her or stop bothering her about your suspicions.

[Kristin]

Any time one partner wants different "rules" than the other partner in a monogamous (or hell, even a non-monogamous) relationship, there's an abuse dynamic going on. It doesn't matter if it pertains to going out or to whatever. Parity is absolutely key in a healthy relationship. So regardless of what your wife is doing without you, simply the fact that she wants all your passwords but you don't get hers is absolutely a red flag that she doesn't respect you.

I think it's important not to focus on what she's doing at raves without you but to focus on the fact that she insists on more freedom from you than she allows you to have. That way she cannot argue that you're just being paranoid, and she's really "not doing anything." It doesn't matter whether she's cheating or not if she is already disrespecting you right out of the gate. Even if she isn't cheating, she is being abusive.

My advice (and you're not going to like it) is to announce that your rules are her rules now. You have completely private passwords and can go out without her any time you want and you will not be questioned about your behavior, just like she's doing. If she has a problem with it, then you say, "Great! I knew you'd see it my way. Hand over your passwords and I'll hand over mine." If she refuses, leave, that day. I mean it. Leave that very day and change your phone number and talk to a lawyer. When she's served with papers, maybe she'll stop having shyte-for-brains syndrome and agree to marriage counseling. If she doesn't, go out and celebrate not spending one more second of your life with an abuser.

[STEEL]

Let me make this as clear as I can for you:

Married women DO NOT change login passwords for no reason
Married women DO NOT chat or share pictures online with other men unless they're looking
Married women DO NOT go to rave parties if they value their marriage to their husbands
Married women DO NOT see, date, or screw around with other women unless their husband is there too!

There are normal things that people do, and then there are things that people do who ARE cheating. And changing passwords so you can't see what they're doing, chatting with men on snapchat, admitting they're into other women too, and going to rave parties where there is prolific drugs use, are NOT normal everyday things that all wives do.

[bonn]

You wont know if shes cheating if she doesn't want you to know. Its obvious that shes contemplating something if shes doing all those things you said. Shes into both sexes so either find someone that you both can have fun with, have an open marriage or accept that she will eventually cheat if she isn't doing it already.