I really don't know what to do. HELP ME.?

[Jane]

Here's the story...

In the second month of my college I met this guy, let's call him 'John' and after a month, we really got close to each other and already sharing secrets, we also hangout often. I also got close to his friends; 4 boys and 1 girl, let's just give the girl the name 'Lisa'. Then a few weeks later, accidentally he found out Lisa's crush and I was with them that time so I also found out. Few days later the crushes of the 4 boys also started to leak out. So the situation is all the crushes of our friends was already revealed, except mine and John's. I thought John will tell me his crush since were closer.

One day, while all of us were hanging out, suddenly Lisa yelled at John asking "When are you going to tell me?" then they distance themselves in the group and started having a serious conversation like for 15 min.? After they've gone home I asked Lisa what did they talked about and she told me it's about John's crush. I was shocked because John didn't opened it to me even once. I got confused and sad at the same time. I feel like I don't have his trust.

I told him my crush because maybe that's the reason why he's not telling me, is because I'm not telling him mine. I bring it up to him trice but still he didn't even just open even a tiny detail about his crush.
Then I started feeling jealous,confused, sad and veeery curious. Since were so close but he's not telling me.

Then one day I did this very stupid thing. While I and Lisa was eating in the restaurant, Lisa went to the comfort room and handed me her things also her phone. I saw her facebook open in her phone and I thought that maybe Lisa and John had a conversation about it in the facebook. So out of curiosity I read their messages. I know it's a very wrong thing to do but I can't help it I thought that maybe I'm the one that John has been crushing to that's why he can't tell me, but then when I read it, it wasn't me. It was some girl that's already graduated.

I kept it for one month, because I waited if John will still talk about it to me. but then he did not. Then when I said to him what I did he got REALLY ANGRY, I mean that's reasonable, I asked "But why are you not telling me? Is it because you don't trust me?". He said he trust me but his not ready to tell it to me yet. I said I was sorry but after our conversation he never talked to me again and it's been 2 months now.

I know it's my fault but I really don't understand. We were so close as brothers and sisters. I said I was sorry and I'm sincere about it, but he leave me hanging with nothing. I don't know why he can't forgive me.

It's been 2 months and I'm hurting like hell. because the guilt haunts me for it was my fault and I don't know if he will ever talk to me again. I want our bond to come back. I don't know what to do. Whenever I see him, he walks away so I can't talk to him. I don't want to bring it up on text or anything that is not in person because I still don't UNDERSTAND EVEN A SINGLE THING.
Please HELP MEEEE. I'm begging you I don't know what to do. He's really important to me and I don't want to end our bond like this.. I've been enduring the pain for two months and I can't take it anymore. Does I even matter to him? Should I still wait? because one of our friend said that he's the one that's going to talk to me if everything was already ok. but I don't know.. should I just wait? or must I take some actions? I really don't know what to do. HELP ME. Friends are very important to me especially the closer one.

Sorry if it's very long. It's the best thing I can do to make you understand the situation.... I will be really grateful if you can help me.

[Ray]

The solution is very simple, it's time to move on! Good luck!!!