Wife Cheated 2 years ago, still cant get over it?

[Warren]

My wife cheated on me two years ago at a class reunion, she told me the affair was just kissing and holding hands in a car. I found out about the affair after i caught some facebook transactions with the guy. It took several months for me to end the affair even calling the guys family up. I had to pick up the pieces for myself gather everything for my marriage, A year and a half passed, and my trust was built up, and I though everything was back to normal, until she left her email up (it was an email account she used for there affair) I read every email, and it was more than a kiss and holding hands in the care...they shared intimacy that night.... weve been married for 15 years and no kids...I have been faithful and although not the greatest of husbands I do give her my 100% of my attention and support...but right now i dont know what to think...she kept the emails that they shared together..I am totally lost again..and dont know if i could pick up the pieces like i did before...please help

I dont understand why she didnt get rid of the emails, she said she didnt want to tell me the truth because it would hurt me, although she was the one who was caught cheating it seemed like i was the one working harder for her appreciation, i blame that on myself. But now my trust is gone again, she pleads for me to change my mind, but all i want is a fresh start on life , 2 years was hard enough, Im 38 and shes 38...any advice is great advice.

[Kurt]

Cheating + no kids = immediate divorce. That's how I roll.

[Ryde:On]

Slowly , quietly and methodically relocate all your assets .

Pull all the equity out of the house and stash it in gold in a safe deposit box under an assumed name .

Change the title of the vehicles into a friend or family members name .

Then divorce her @ss and find a new woman you can trust .

[HJW]

Divorce her, simple. Let her plead with her lover now.

[Stephen]

Have to agree with the other responses, leaving the email account open, and open for you to read.
Move on, too many good women out there.

[E]

Guy responding: Since there are no kids involved I would prepare to end it. If she kept the emails there is something about the relationship she won't let go of. You are right to be hurt, I assume "not the best of husbands" doesn't mean you cheated? Get control of the finances, she can bargain with you during the divorce. Depending on your state she may be entitled to half so don't blow it on a midlife crisis. Then one day pack her suitcase, change the locks on the house/apt and when she comes home have it on the porch etc. with a note. Make a reservation for her at the closest Motel 6 and pay for it, include the address in the note.

[david b]

I think before you give up completely on your marriage the two of you should go for counseling. If a person leaves that type of evidence where you can see it, it is very possible that she felt so guilty for what she did that she subconsciously left it for you to see. Why she kept those e mails I don't know.

If you go for counseling and she doesn't make a sincere effort to resolve whatever issues led her to her behavior in the first place, then you have to make the decision on whether to stay with her. There is always time for that though.

[gary b]

GET TO CHURCH!!!

You haven't got a clue about "Unconditional Love" and "Godly Forgiveness", and you need lessons.

The secular world doesn't understand this. By not accepting the full definition of God, they can't possibly conceive of how someone COULD forgive anyone after something like that. They can't understand how a rape victim could forgive her attacker, or how a rape victim MUST forgive her attacker if SHE is to heal emotrionally.

Same goes for your marriages. YOU CANNOT HEAL until you have learned to TRULY give your forgiveness based on you unconditional love for your wife. It is called foreGIVEness, not forEARNEDness, because you must give it even if it is never asked for. You forgive unconditionally because you love unconditionally.

And the secular world is UNABLE to teach this to you! The secular world insists on revenge and vengeance, "If you hurt me then I hurt you". This is NOT the example that God lives by. We killed Jesus, but God STILL loves us.

YOU BOTH NEED TO BE IN CHURCH, the ONLY place where such a profound level of love is exampled, explained, and TAUGHT.

[The]

maybe now she loves uh...???

[IndianaJohn]

15 years and no kids? time to bail. Better than waiting 30 years. you're still young enough to find someone else.