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LittleOne · 03-24-2014, 10:50 AM

Me and my little brother were close growing up. As adults we were too for awhile, then we had a falling out in 2009 to which we didn't speak to each other for over 2 years. Then he contacted me and we started talking again. This past summer, he and his wife asked if they could stay with me, my husband and our 3 kids for a bit as he had gotten a job in the same province that we lived in. Since we don't have any family living close to us, we thought this was great. So he and his wife and 2 dogs came to stay with us. That was in July. By the end of August, he had quit his new job as it wasn't working out. They continued to stay with us, working minimum wage jobs. We had 2 big career fairs happen in the city to which they didn't attend either one. Both have lots of experience and tickets and could have gotten well paying jobs as things were really booming here. Another month passes on and neither of them are helping pay for groceries or anything and have also borrowed money from us to help them get by. Not only that one of their dogs chewed a whole in a brand new bed we had gotten for our daughter. It wasn't even a month old. By the end of September, I finally got upset one day and said that I needed them to help out with groceries and stuff as they had been with us for over 2 months and it wasn't fair. This led to them not really talking to me for a couple weeks. How nice it was to be ignored in my own house. Finally ad the end of October they got a line on a good job in the oil field. This was a couple hours away. I was very happy and proud of them for doing this. They needed some cash to get them thru the week as the company held back the first week of pay. So I reluctantly agreed since they promised to pay me back on the first cheque. They also promised to pay me every week until I was paid off. ($1500 in total) So the first pay day came and went and I saw nothing. It took me another 2 weeks to get them to pay me back that money. That was last week of November.

Now I can't get them to even respond to any messages I send them. They are completely ignoring me. They are posting on Facebook how well they are doing, how much money they are making and how great life is. I have sent numerous messages asking for them to please sent me the money they owe me. They all get read, but they do not respond. I am extremely pissed off about not only being ignored, but I feel completely and totally taken advantage of. We helped them out when they needed us so desperately and I would just appreciate the return. I feel like they are treating me like a piece of garbage. Like to just have no response at all. I have thought about just saying forget it and just not having anything to do with them at all and cut my losses. But then at the same time I feel like that is letting them off scott free. I have told them both that is seems obvious they do not want me in their lives, which is fine, the quickest way for that to happen is to pay me back and they will never hear from me again. To which of course there has been no response.

I have days where the anger is so strong in me. Usually when I see their posts on FB or something like that. It has been affecting my moods at home, towards my family and this I do not like. I am not the one who has done wrong here but yet I feel like I am the one who is paying because I care. I just want to get over my anger.

I have thought about writing him a message telling him exactly how I feel. But I won't get a response so I am not sure that will help me. I need to find a way to heal me. Who gives a shit about them. It is my mental health that I am concerned about. It is my mind that I need to ease. It is my heart that I need to heal.

Anyone got any advice?

Heather · 03-24-2014, 10:58 AM

Pray and have faith

Cnthia · 03-24-2014, 11:01 AM

I know this may sound harsh but you need to unfriend them from FB so you wont have to see them bragging about themselves. you need some peace of mind and stop focusing on them and what they have done to you and your family. do not allow them to continue to take your power b/c each time you contact them and they don't respond they know they make you upset. if you really want your money back take them to smalls claims court, but you have to be prepared to have them really not speak to you and your family, EVER. but so be it, you did them a huge favor and took them in and helped them out, you didn't go to them they came to you. and look at the thanks you got. stop letting them get to you, you have a family that needs you to be there for them mind, body and soul and not stay angry over your brother. he and his wife are leaches and you now know it. all you have lost is money and that you will get back in time. keep your faith up and all will work out. peace to you

Michael · 03-24-2014, 11:10 AM

You should wright him a letter explaining how you feel and telling him he needs to pay you within a certain time or he is not welcome at your home any longer. This may be tough to do but it's necissary. He needs to understand that paying you back is number one and ignoring your letter will have consequences.

Jerry · 03-24-2014, 11:18 AM

Just move on... They are who they are. You have learned a hard lesson with family. Don't let this bother you anymore. I would not touch base with them again.

Begin your day over every day and only be in the now. If you dwell on the past or future you will never be at ease.

Read the book,"I choose to be happy." Barnes & Noble in the clearance section for $6.98.

Best, Jerry