What do you think of my lyrics?

[lexip153]

Can’t I give a little input,
Can I drown out the crown.
If you need an opinion.
I’m here right now.

Why do you keep running back to her,
She broke your heart once before.
What makes you think she changed.
Now your standing in the rain, alone.

Gotta let you know right now,
You’re the final vote,
Nobody can take that away,
Nobody can veto.

Why do you keep running back to her,
She broke your heart once before.
What makes you think she changed.
Now your standing in the rain, alone.

I told you once, I told you twice.
If you would’ve listened.
Everything would be alright.
He said
“I bet its just a mistake,”
And I said,
“Things don’t just happen this way”

Why do you keep running back to her,
She broke your heart once before.
What makes you think she changed.
Now your standing in the rain, alone.

How can you tell me
Shes the love of your life.
I know I’ve been wrong before
But I know that I’m right.


Why do you keep running back to her,
She broke your heart once before.
What makes you think she changed.
Now your standing in the rain, alone.

Now you’re alone in the rain tonight.

Add me on myspace.. myspace.com/lexipricemusic

[JL]

i like it, your talented!

hey check out my myspace,twitter,youtube..ect on my page

just click on me

[skinnySwami964]

I think the rhyming is very good, but you may want to consider the number of beats you have in each line and each verse so that they match up... Just a little point, but it makes it nicer to sing, read, and listen to. You may also want to consider putting your verses in a more logical order, i.e, to "support" your "theory" (that is, to agree with your chorus) and making your chorus a little longer.
However, you could also rework your chorus a little, eg.

Why do you keep running back to her?
Can't you see I'm running after you?
What makes you think she changed?
Because I changed for you too.
She broke your heart once before
And I know I've been wrong before
But you're standing in the rain, tonight
All alone, and I know I'm right.
What makes you think she changed?
Because I changed for you too.

(If this appeals to you, feel free to use it. )
You may also want to consider going verse-verse-chorus-verse-verse-bridge-chorus or something along those lines. This is also a small point, but reading the chorus four times is a little repetitive, and it also takes up time where you could put in more verses, and verses are actually where you put most of the information; choruses are the bits that are supposed to catch your attention.