Is it wrong that I search my boyfriends facebook profile often?

[dude]

My ex slept with my best friend so I cut contact with both of them and moved on and now that I have been in a relationship with this other guy for about a month now he is my everything and he loves me and proves it but I get so OCD sometimes and I constantly hit up his facebook profile to see what statuses and pictures he posts and to see who comments on them and what they say. Is this wrong? I told him I trust him 100% but I can't help it that I do this my ex is the one who made me this way due to his cheating on me.

[victoriousclass961]

I suppose you should ask yourself if you would be mad if he was checking up on you? Personally, I feel there is a thin line between curing ones curiosity and being obsessed. Truth is its not his fault and he is unknowingly dealing with the reprocussions of the lies, games & pain caused by those backstabbers. If he is a good man, honest & true then that sort of behavior could push him away. I dont think anyone loves dealing with BS & reprocussions they had no involvement in. Dont get me wrong, that doesnt mean he should walk away. if he cares & fully aware of the recent deceit, its only logical to assume damage was done and you being on "high alert" , paying attention to things & checking up would only be a natural part of healing the wounds. All Im saying is dont let it consume you! Focus more on yourself and less on everyone else. Pay close attention to the things you say to yourself and be careful not to say things that create negative thoughts bringing out old emotions & distrust which then cause you to constantly monitor & check up on him. Instead use your self talk to benefit the outcome you desire. You should be reminding yourself of the qualities (not material crap) you possess. Whoever your Higher Power is, mine is God, & I believe He had a reason for it all, though we may not understand His purpose, we should trust His plan & believe He has our best interest and the outcome to it all will be in our favor. However, maybe this new guy demonstrates similar behaviors that trigger you & remind you of something familiar to your ex. There is a saying "game recognizes game" ..I feel its better said "people recognize people" meaning you recognize in someone else usually an action or by their reaction or emotion, a habit or maybe even something said but its familiar to an experience or situation you went through. Only you know if its your fears or something familiar in him reminding you. Worst case, what if he isnt faithful? Will you carry both relationships into the next & keep doing so until it consumes you?! Will you obsess about it, live in constant worry looking for the next to let you down like the others? Dont let it eat at you til there is nothing left eventually controlling every relationship & any chance at happiness. Bc it can & it will ruin you, destroying any potential of a healthy, loving relationship & eventually you become the person that causes the pain, hurting others, like yourself, who never deserved it. If viewing his profile gives you a sense of security, it hurts no one, but like my sister once reminded me..."If your LOOKING for the bad in someone, your certain to find it!" Careful what you seek out to find! You may misconstrue something adding fuel to the fire. Personally, I would throw a party bc that is 2 less fake people you have to worry about! Smile knowing THEY are not your worst enemy anymore but their own, if not each others! Anything that begins with deceit ends in deceit.."what a web we weave when we live a life of deceit." If they pursue anything be patient as it was doomed from the start and its not a matter of "if " but a matter of "when" before their walls start crumbling down & the games begin. In the meantime, pursue your own happiness (in yourself dont put your happiness in the hands of others). But Im going to give you a piece of advice I GUARANTEE if you follow it that it will not to fail! Your new man will appreciate, admire and want you more (if possible). Your ex will be ashamed feeling the pain of regret. Any mutual friends will be your biggest promoters regardless if they are more his or her friend than yours,as they will speak the truth which will not help them feel any better. MY ADVICE IS TO BETTER YOURSELF! Start working out, set a goal to get in shape (if not already), set new goals in all areas of your life and dont let anything stop you from reaching them. (Ex: go back to school, take a class, start a business, get involved in everything you can..you may like something you never imagined youd enjoy, do something youve always wanted to do, take a dance class or whatever float your boat & makes you feel good. In the end anything is better than nothing & learning new things is rewarding & doing things you enjoy will take your mind of the things that shouldnt consume your time and put the focus back on the things that deserve it. You are worth the time, you deserve your attention and its ok to focus on yourself!! I had a bad situation (as Im sure we all have a story or 2) but I followed the advice I gave you & when we finally saw each other , the feeling...knowing he saw I was doing better, that i was healthier mentally, physically, as well as emotionally & that I looked amazing without him...had to suck! I was moving up in the company & was involved in many activities & met so many wonderful people. But thanks to our "mutual " friends or even "his" friends he was constantly being reminded of the positive changes happening in my life. I never heard much more about him than "still doing the same thing." Never find pleasure from their misery or in their pain but its okay to be proud and rejoice over the obstacles you have overcome and the achievements youve made..be proud of your success. It isnt your fault if that causes him pain...it was his poor choices & he only has himself to blame Losing someone bc of your wrong doings, someone good who never deserved the things done & having to admit & accept its all his fault ..hurts. It hurts to be wrong and know you've destroyed any future chances. It hurts knowing you pushed the 1 person away that you should of never allowed yourself to let slip away. It hurts to know that all that was needed are the same things in the end he will want someone to give him...trust, honesty & love! F them all. I have NEVER messed around with any of my friends boyfriends. There is no excuse. So pride yourself on the friendship you offer & give it to those who reciprocate and deserve it. Life is to short to waste it on people less deserving. Be a person of quality. In order to have true friends you must start by being one! If I had to guess, Id say this ex ho probably lacks substantial friendships..not the kind of friend that forgives you bc of their own insecurities or overlooks your wrongs bc theyve known you so long &/or silently waits for opportunity to knock to get you back.. thats not substantial. The kind of friend you know not to let go. Good luck. I wish you the best.