How do I cope with my friend having cancer?

[IISweetDoveII]

Ok so over the winter break my friend I shall not name her but she was diagnosed with cancer and my other friends and I have just heard that she has cancer because the principal of our school came into our class and told us, but when I found out I didint start crying I felt my heart literally drop down to my stomach then of course I started crying because I came back to reality and said to myself that she can die any seconds now!

I just kind of wanna know how to cope with it?

[Matt]

Get a grip.

First off, anyone can die any second. Second, having cancer, especially as a child, is not going to make it so you drop dead any second. The vast majority of childhood cancers are cured. You hear about high profile terminal cases like Tallia because that i snot the usual outcome, and she was very active in social media. Without knowing anything about your friend's case, I can tell you that the most likely scenario is that she is going to make it through treatment.

On the flip side, treatment is going to suck. This is where you can help out. You need to make sure that you continue to be a friend, an active friend. She needs to stay connected socially and academically. Your and your other classmates can help out with this, depending on what her parents decide to do for treatment (local or travel to another place) and school. Contact her regularly, ask how she is doing, listen to her, and include her in your plans when you can. Her treatment (not the cancer) is likely to make her sick and weak, and she may loose her hair. So if she is feeling well enough to go out to the mall or a movie (and she probably will be well enough), you just need to make the outing more low key sh she can rest more, as she will get tired more easily.

[Craftylass]

Her trauma is not your drama. Her illness is not about you. Her death (should it happen soon) will not be about you.

You cope by coping. You don't be a drama queen and you continue to treat your friend as you did before. You don't ignore the reality of her illness, but you don't make every conversation about it.

You live life alongside your friend in both the up days and the down days. And when she has down days? For heaven's sake, do NOT tell her to cheer up!