Is it reasonable how I feel towards my mom?

[Lena]

I apologize but I feel a rant coming. I haven't been feeling well more or so horrible, depressed, and perhaps some anger (but I am a passive aggressive type). I am wondering if how I feel is reasonable at all. Well I don't know.

I feel horrible for the last past year and I feel lost. Growing up, I been in a Christian family and ever since I transferred to a new christian college my third year (last year) my faith has been changing. I met new people that I haven't encountered before (who are non-christians), and I been wondering about my faith more, and I noticed how sheltered I been all my life and now I just want to be free.

I apologize but I am sick of it. From the past year my mom have been making me feel bad about myself. Perhaps it might be her tactics to make sure I maintain myself as a Christian and be the perfect little daughter. I talked with some friends about it (two best friends) and they both think my mom is making it hard for me to bear with. I am trying my best some time but it doesn't cut it.

She makes me feel horrible about myself. I can't seem to do anything right. Whenever I do something such as watching a certain movie, talk about drinking with some friends after I graduate she gets very upset. There are times she hides my carkeys so I can't escape the house. She complains about me mostly about how I am not studying or reading the Bible everyday or when I am cleaning out my closet she thinks I have a mental disorder because I spent the entire day cleaning. She also makes it a big deal if I listen to non-christian music like pop or read Harry Potter.

I don't feel like my age. No matter how much I try to talk to her about my age and how I will be graduating soon I have to look after myself. She said I can't leave the house at all after I graduate and want to make sure I am a good christian. It also bothers me that she talks to my friend secretly to hook me up with a guy she wants me to be with. I feel like I am not living my life. I want to respect her but it's so hard and frustrating. Sometimes I just want to cry.

TO be honest, sometimes it makes me feel so trapped that I have had suicidal thoughts. I want to move out (but I won't cut myself away from my family) because i still get along with my dad a lot. Nowadays they argue mostly because of me. My dad said that I am on a journey learning more about myself as a young adult while my mom on the other hand argues that I'm still too young and not a strong Christian. I am considering switching my religion to agnostic. I feel frustrated. It's hard talking to her about anything. We have different philosophy views and politcs as well. I have to agree with her on everything or she gets really mad. And whenever I felt hurt and tell her somehow it turns out that she's always right and I end up apologizing which hurts me more because all the hurtful things she said she's not sorry about it and I feel them venting up slowly.

And I just want to move out after I graduate, pay my own bills, find a job. It's so hard because of economy and because of many things my mom keeps me away from. I'm sick of it. I hate it now. I hate being at home. It doesn't feel like home. My privacy feels compromised and almost every day I'm home I feel like I'm not good enough or just a sucky person. She makes me feel bad a lot. We get along when I'm away at college and not at home. I just want to move out. Mostly now I just can't wait until spring semester starts. My mom makes me hate myself a lot. She makes me feel worthless.

I feel bad feeling huge resentment towards her sometimes because she has been supportive with me financially and I used to get along with her when I was a lot younger. She got more uptight with me when I'm in college and when I started learning things on my own. I feel like she wants to be involved in every part of my life. That's why I quit facebook because she documents a lot about me and our family and she talks to my friends a lot which bothers me sometimes. I don't mind she gets along with them but I feel annoyed when she tells me them a lot about me when I could be talking to them. I also hate the way she fusses over me a lot.

I just want to be free. Believe in what I believe in, be whoever I am without fear and perfection. I just want to be free... I feel like I have to pretend to be this perfect daughter for her. I don't think I'll ever be myself. And I feel even more bad because how I feel hurt from my mom is bothering my dad.

Talking to her doesn't help, either she blames me and makes me feel worse or she thinks I'm over sensitive. I just want to be free...

[I know nothing]

show her what you've written here

[Mystique]

your mom has the best intentions but not going about it the right way.

first off....your dad is right. you were raised christian..fine..but you must become your own person as well. now im not saying go out & do a lot of sinful stuff & all that but you still have to become an adult. so..for your mom..tell her this verse "train up a child in the way they should go & when they are old they will not depart from it." she did her part...now you have to live your life & in the end...you wil lfind what is right for you. bible itself promises this.

for you, check my profile right here for more...but also...go here: http://www.wyattmuseum.com/

(we know those people personally..& ive seen something of those sites myself...as you'll see in my yahoo answers profile here...the turkish goverment itself has double verified certain things)

now, there are some things you should stop doing. stop talking about your plans after graduation. also non-christian music: dont listen when she's around..or use headphones & dont mention it. what she doesnt know wont hurt her.

harry potter: i love this series. the problem with harry potter vs christians is that they say its full of magic & not written by a christian..these same folk cling to lord of the rings...religiously...does mommy dearest like lord of the rings? if so..harry potter is no dif. (i like lord of the rings to..im just saying). furthermore, there is no magic in harry potte.r no voodoo no oija..nothing. "spells" are merely olde english & latin...i am actually interested in learning the french langauge thanks to harry potter....not get into wicca. in fact, the characters make fun of real magic (like diviniation/palmistry) & say its stupid & not worth their time...& there is NO astrology..only astronomy.

HP was written by a presbeterian..a christian woman...whereas lord of the rings was written by a catholic..which technically...are pagan..not christian. oops. rowling herself has said that hogwarts is a multi-faith school..from hindu to various christain sects. the poters & the dumbledores are buried in a CHURCH graveyard..& there are at least 3 dif bible verses, 2 of which are written on those graves....dumbledore quotes direct bible verse to harry potter as well!

also, in the 7th book, rowling describes death the same way the bible does...& stuff that happen when the final battle begins is what'll happen to christians in the end times. ..remember how the students asked about their stuff & owls? mcgonagall says there's no itme. leave now...precisely what we christian folk will have to do!

so...just...dont bother with harry potter while mom is around. i keep my HP stuff in my room & guess whats part of the stack of books? uh huh..my kjv bible...right on top. that way i remember to read a bit of the bible first before reaching for my random book...& i like finding comparisions that rowling made between her story & the bible..particularly the end times. its a fun game i play lol

now..the most worrying thing for me though...is this guy thing of hers. that is extremely BAD! no one should be forced into marriage. you shouldnt even bother with that sort of thing until you're in your mid-twenties...especially if you're a woman. we dont actually fully develope until then.

furthermore...you can use the bible to back you up. jesus christ/saint paul/mother theresa/saint joan of arc...take your pick..there are plenty of sherlock holmes style saints out there...god himself is like that in jesus. never marreid never had sex never had kids. bible blesses this several times over. in fact..it sort of warns against it once. "as in the days of noe (noah) so shall it be in the end tiems..they shall marry blah blah blah..BUT...they will NOT know the hour of their lord"

if your mom doesnt think we're living in the end times now..then she's living in a technicolored dream land...we shouldnt even be doing this sort of c/r/a/p anymore! im actually still virgin & i have no intenetion of getting married...im asexual like sherlock holmes lol you have more time for yourself & more time for god this way. as far as im concerned...the end times started when the WTC towers went down.

[ALN09]

Your Mom can only interfere as much as you allow her. Know her limits and know yours. If she steps beyond a mother's/father's boundary, you must push her back or walk away like when she tries to get you to hook up with some guy of her preference. She seems like a mother with best wishes for her kid but seems as if she has been brainwashed and unable to think freely/logically.

If your mom is a good listener, you should talk to her, preferably when she is relaxed and free in the morning or at nights without stress. Tell your Mom that if she cares she must accept and reason rather than simply judging everyone whatever way she wants to or else she will regret when the time is gone to change things. Talk little, talk sense and show no desperation but acceptance to others as themselves and demand the same. It should get better by time. Have some fun and Ask her to read Gita, Vedas when she asks you to read bible. Take no stress, it's difficult to make people understand when they are following a specific beliefs for a long time as their brain gets programmed to only listen, believe, preach as much as the religion's books or preachers say.

I agree with you for most part but disagree about the part where you suggest drinking but you have right to disagree with me as it's your life and no one can force you if you have chosen, different opinions. You are likely to get similar challenges all your life, Be patient, be confident and take your stand, mind your studies and career. Good Luck.