Did I go too far on getting revenge on my cheating girlfriend?

[Steve]

Just wanted to run this by some of you and get your advice. I'm 21 years old and have been dating this girl for about 1.5 years. Everything seemed to be going fine in our relationship until a couple weeks ago. We both go to school in different states but had no problem in our first year with the long distant relationship.

Anyways I was scheduled to go visit my girlfriend and attend her sorority formal she invited me to 4 weeks in advance. I booked my ticket and everything seemed normal until the day I was suppose to fly out. That evening I received a call from her stating she didn't think it would be right for me to come out. At that time I was completely caught off guard as the day before she kept telling me how excited she was for me to come visit and literally threw $250 down the drain for my unused ticket.

So after this whole debacle I tried to talk to her and see exactly what was bothering her, (school, family issues, etc.) but all she said was that she wanted to wait until she was back for the holidays. I waited about 4 weeks doing exactly what she said but finally I realized she probably was over the relationship and I decided to try and contact her to see it this was true. The funny thing was that the first response I got back was actually from her family in which they pleaded to wait and talk to her over break and not end the relationship. Confused at this point I decided I could wait a few more weeks and thought that maybe she would come around.

This is where things actually get interesting. I never thought trust was an issue in our relationship but going over 5 weeks and not talking to the person I use to talk to every day definitely felt strange. At this point I figured something has to be up and decided to do some digging. As I was on my ipad at that moment, I remembered through my mail app I could also check her email account. For the first time I decided to look through it and found out she created some online dating account on OKcupid. A little shocked, I didn't bring it up to her as I felt maybe she was just confused and didn't think much of it.

Finally she was back for break and didn't hear from her until I finally contacted her after she'd been back for couple days. She apologized saying she was really busy with family stuff and couldn't meet up for another 5-6 days. At this point I was pretty upset that she couldn't find any time to even talk to me. Again I checked the email account and found even more dating accounts set up including one called POF. This time I decided to see what exactly was going on and was actually able to get into her account. (Uses the same password for pretty much everything)

After getting into the account, this was when I knew our relationship was over. Seeing the fact she was talking with over 10 different guys, including wanting to meet up and giving out her number to over 5 different strangers 8-10 years older. She even bragged to one of them of breaking up our relationship, which was news to me.

Finally I told her the relationship was over and she went into complete damage control blocking my number, de-friending me on facebook, and telling all her friends I was a complete liar. Pretty upset I thought it was only fair to expose her to what see had done. Again I was able to get into her snap chat account in which I found even more evidence she was busy texting/sexting different guys on multiple dating websites.

At the time I thought this was a great way to get back at her and all her male friends she had been talking to and decided to send out a mass snap chat from her account. In the message I said, "to all the guys that have been talking to Nicki from various dating sites, thanks for ending her relationship."

The next day I felt horrible for doing what I did and figured I should get some advice. Did I go too far? Was it fair to do all that?

Sorry for the long message, getting this all out seems to be very helpful in getting over this. Any advice helps even if you guys think I'm going crazy.

Thanks!

[Fred]

Dude… the only thing you should have done that you didn't is tell her to cough up the 250$ for your ticket. Otherwise I think you were extraordinarily restrained. And I wouldn't lose a minutes sleep over what you did.

"but ANY retribution on your part just makes you look petty"
Thank you Mary Poppins.

[â™ Merlin â™]

i think its natural you feel hurt
but ANY retribution on your part just makes you look petty
sorry but it does
you are young, and yes she was wrong in not telling you
but you risk this following her around for a very long time with school and prospective employers
she didnt deserve that
everyone will look to you and blame you

just let it go
let all the other chumps find out what a w**** she is
and move on with what dignity you have left

[Samantha]

No, you didn't go far. If you were honest with her and never cheated, she didn't deserve you, obviously )

[Bob V]

Dude, in this day and age you're fooling yourself if you think a long distance relationship is going to be monogomous. If you really care about her and want to be with this girl long term come to an agreement that you could both live with. Maybe it's okay to see other people while your waway from one another but if either is close to considering someone else your "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" you'll let the other one know. ODn't try and know what she's doing halfway across the country, it'll just drive you crazy. Anyway, if it's meant to be, it'll "be" when you both get back home. For now just go out and enjoy yourself. You're only 21 once.

[Reece]

The best revenge you'll get is leaving it. Similar sort of thing happened to me - you didn't go too far but just leave it now. People like her don't need the help of decent chaps like us to ruin their lives, they'll do it just fine by themselves. Hope you're not feeling to bad over the whole thing

[Daniel]

You did good bro. She should of never cheated on you. Finding out your couple cheating is one of the worst feelings ever. Good job on what you did! You should just forget about her and find a new girlfriend that would actually love you and not cheat on you.

[Rodica]

The intelligent ignore, the strong forgive, the weak wants revenge.