I'm afraid of being gay to the point I don't meet others like me - what should I do?

[Peri]

I'm at university, and I'd love to experiment and meet new people, especially as I don't really have any friends who are gay. But the problem is, I'm still uncomfortable with being a lesbian and being open with that. I even avoid joining my university's LGBT group on Facebook in case my family members see (it's complicated). I went to the LGBT group for a social event one time, but it was really awkward as everyone had formed cliques and social circles.

It would be easier if I knew someone who was gay, but I don't. What should I do?

[Sapphire]

Perhaps you should join an online site to meet others but still maintain your anonymity? The only true solution though is to eventually just become comfortable yourself and not care what others think of you and then truly get involved in the local LGBT community. You could also have a separate Facebook account for just your LGBT and then one for your family.

[Bea]

I think you're projecting your family's views on homosexuality, which means that you're assuming everyone else feels the same way they do and will reject you because of it.

-Accept the fact that you are a lesbian
-Keep going to the LGBT group's events
-Ignore the fact that everyone has formed their own groups and focus on making small talk
-Keep coming back to people you especially like or get along with
-Ask them to hang out, outside of the group's events
-Maybe you could talk to the group's leader about how you're feeling?
-I suppose you can also try going to a gay bar, if there is one in your city, but I think you're going to find more potential hookups than friends there.

Don't worry about the Facebook thing, because it's not worth wasting the energy trying to explain or justify something to your family that they're not going to accept. However, if you're willing to respond to possible questions or criticism from them, then go for it.

Good luck and enjoy yourself at college!

[Profoundbattle257]

just accept yourself however you are and move on