Research-Can you tell I'm Intoxicated?

[justme]

This is part of a research study for my master's thesis. I am studying the effects of inebriation on cognitive ability. We all know...and it has been widely documented... that alcohol consumption affects physical abilities, but cognitive abilities have been somewhat, not largely but somewhat, ignored. So as part of research, my partner and I have offered ourselves up as guinea pigs. We have each imbibed large amounts of liquor, 80 proof vodka, to the degree that we know beyond doubt we are physically compromised. We are both writing posts on different avenues of social media. My partner is covering social sites such as Face Book where posts are made for comments whereas I am covering sites aimed at the sharing of intellectual information such as the popular ask and answer sites. We are aiming to determine by as many replies as possible just how inebriated we appear. We do not want typing skills judged as that is in the realm of physical ability, but only the content of the post. This of course cannot be used as official research but we are conducting this as a jumping off point in fashioning further studies. Please let me know how rational this post seems. This is important research which could have far-reaching results for much of community/social life so please post honestly. I'm not sure how we will judge the best answers but I assure you every answer will be considered. Just so you know, for your information, we have each ingested 1/3 of a fifth (750ml) of 80 proof (40% alcohol by volume) vodka mixed with a total of 10 ounce of peach flavored soda. We are in a controlled environment with help, should we need it, close at hand. Thanks for your help.
Apparently, someone did not read the part where I explained this was an experiment my partner and I were doing on our own..."this of course cannot be used as official research". We didn't have controls, it wasn't an official study but our own thing we were doing to get the powers that be to see there was a reason for this research. I don't owe anyone an explanation as I only asked for comments on how the post sounded. I assure anyone reading that to put it bluntly, we were both shitfaced...no, we didn't have bac knowledge, but we know how much we drank and what we ate. So get off the high horse you rode in on and instead of giving your own dissertation on how poorly we were conducting this experiment, which by the way is how you learn, just answer the question. Did I sound drunk or not...that's all I wanted to know!
Apparently, someone did not read the part where I explained this was an experiment my partner and I were doing on our own..."this of course cannot be used as official research". We didn't have controls, it wasn't an official study but our own thing we were doing to get the powers that be to see there was a reason for this research. I don't owe anyone an explanation as I only asked for comments on how the post sounded. I assure anyone reading that to put it bluntly, we were both shitfaced...no, we didn't have bac knowledge, but we know how much we drank and what we ate. So get off the high horse you rode in on and instead of giving your own dissertation on how poorly we were conducting this experiment, which by the way is how you learn, just answer the question. Did I sound drunk or not...that's all I wanted to know!
Apparently, someone did not read the part where I explained this was an experiment my partner and I were doing on our own..."this of course cannot be used as official research". We didn't have controls, it wasn't an official study but our own thing we were doing to get the powers that be to see there was a reason for this research. I don't owe anyone an explanation as I only asked for comments on how the post sounded. I assure anyone reading that to put it bluntly, we were both shitfaced...no, we didn't have bac knowledge, but we know how much we drank and what we ate. So get off the high horse you rode in on and instead of giving your own dissertation on how poorly we were conducting this experiment, which by the way is how you learn, just answer the question. Did I sound drunk or not...that's all I wanted to know!

[Simpson G]

Oh, I call bullshitt. It's not "important research which could have far-reaching results". This has been done over and over and over. Even Mythbusters did a segment on this. Hell, the TV show 'Drunk History' is nothing *but* a version of this.

Ok, you want an excuse to get drunk and call it research. Ok.
What are your controls?
Are you writing posts that are similar while not drunk?
Are you using placebos as well?
Who is controlling the study? Single blind? Double blind?
Are the judges worthwhile judges?
Why don't spelling and grammar count? Spelling and grammar are a HUGE part of inebriation!! I'm not talking just typos, what you call "physical" impairment. I'm talking suddenly thinking that inebriation is spelled 'enibbreashun'. That's not a typo, that's a cognitive error.
Are you using a BAC breathalyzer? Is it properly calibrated?
Are you tracking food ingestion?
Are you tracking general body condition?
Are you allowing for alcohol tolerance by the individual?
Are you using incremental dosing?

250mL is over 8oz. That's 5.3 standard drinks of 1.5oz shots. In a short amount of time with no food and limited tolerance, that could put someone in the hospital.