trying to make friends with girl at church but i think she hates me?

[voicelesstrip898]

(some of this might not make sense if your not mormon)
so there is this girl in my YW class and EVERYONE loves her. She's friends with everyone and is seemingly perfect. the only problem is i get a really strong impression that she doesn't like me. when she first moved here no one was her friend except for me. i walked to school with her and talked to her a lot but as soon as she made new friends she ditched me. Now i feel like she doesn't like me at all. in class she will never sit by me. she never invites me to ANYTHING and talks about it right in front of me. she's always giving me this look, like I'm a freak. and when i tried to add her on Facebook it took her months to accept it and i overheard her talking to one of the girls about how she didn't want to accept it because we went friends. I have been putting up with this for 3 years and i don't know what to do. should i confront her about it or just not say anything. i honestly feel like an outsider in my church because no one is really my friend. i dont want to say anything because it would make things awkward and i would see her everyday. please help

[Amber]

Tell someone older like the vicar, tell her how you feel if she is still mean then move on you don't need her. Talk to other people not just the girls, sometimes boy are more accepting and kinder.

[c.]

Sounds like you are a constant reminder of her former status. Alone and without a friend in the world. She obviously values being popular over being friends. Shallow people are like that. It happens.

[Muk]

Here's an easy answer, not everybody wants to be friends with everyone. This happened to me but I move on and so should you.

[Elsie]

Chances are that all of the girls in your group don't feel like they are accepted. Teenage girls are incredibly insecure and self absorbed and can be quite mean with it.

If this girl is actively ostracizing you and getting others to do the same, then maybe something needs to be said, but I don't know if it should be said by you or an adult. I would talk to your leader about how to best go about addressing the situation. But NOBODY should be bullied, especially at church.

If it's just a situation that you get unfriendly vibes from this girl, then you have to let it go. Not everyone is going to be your friend all of the time. She's obviously an insecure person and has to feel superior to someone. I would try to look at it with a sense of humor.

There is one more thing to consider. Are you being socially weird in your behavior, like are you saying and doing weird things to make others feel uncomfortable? If so, then change it. If not then just move on. Do your best to be a nice person. Smile at this girl and others who you don't think like you and be friendly even if they are acting like sullen 15-year-olds. Don't be overly friendly, just be pleasant and polite. Your good behavior will be a noticeable contrast to their bad behavior.

[Penny Lane]

I would suggest that you stay positive about this, but stop trying to be her friend. She doesnt seem interested, and you heard her say that first hand.

Thats not a terrible thing. People have different personalities and change quite a lot in Jr and Sr high school. The girl that ended up being my BFF for YEARS was someone I didnt like *at all* the first couple years I lived in that ward. lol....

Things change, new people move in, wards split, etc etc... Stop aiming for this girl. Shes not interested, even if she is trying to be nice. But keep your eye out for other girls who will also be looking for new friends. Friends are something special. Sometimes 2 people are a great fit, sometimes they arent. This is why being a teen is always tricky. But keep looking. I was *exactly* like you for the first year or two when we moved here (7th grade). By the end of high school I had the largest group of friends in the stake probably and we stayed solidly friends for .....well we still talk and we graduated high school in '96. So yeah.... (and they all moved into the ward after I did)

So stay positive and open, but give up on creating something more with that girl. Shes not the one for you.

[slcbtf]

Just remember, church isn't an institute for the perfect. It is more like a hospital for those who are ill and who would like to get better.

We all have our faults and our faith should be centered in Christ. I would assume that there are other YW who feel the same way you do. Don't close up! Be a candle on a hill for those who might be feeling the same way. Always be a welcoming friend even if others don't invite you. You are a daughter of God. That is more important for you to know than what the other girls may think.