Do you think I have a right to feel hurt?

[Dahlia]

*I'm sorry this is long, but I really need some advice*

This happened a couple of months ago, but my boyfriend and I were discussing the girl that was involved. Then I started remembering everything that had happened, and I got so angry. I never got an apology for this, and that's why I got so angry. Here's the story, please tell me if you think I have a right to feel hurt..

So anyway, a couple of months ago, I was on Facebook and I was browsing different profiles. As I was doing this I stumbled upon my boyfriend's ex's page. I clicked on it, I looked at a few things she had posted recently and moved on, because I don't really care.

Now the next day or maybe a couple days later my boyfriend had sent me a link to a YouTube video. I clicked it and surprisingly, it had been one that his ex had posted the day before. So I decided to ask him where he found that video. And he just said that it was in his recommended section. Now I knew he was lying because it couldn't have been just a coincidence. So I told him he was lying and that I knew someone sent it to him. He just acted as if I were crazy. We started fighting about it, he tried to be a smarta*s about it, and listen a bunch of names of people, asking if they were the ones that sent it. All but his ex. He called me names and made me feel like crap, for "accusing him". He then dumped me because I didn't trust him.

The next day we were texting and arguing more. I was begging for him back, basically, and I think that's why I was blinded of what was really going on. A couple days later, he sent me a text. Pretty much saying that he had been talking to his ex and she did send him the video. Just as I had thought. The thing is, he lied to me, called me names and treated me like crap because I was accusing him. But it turns out he was indeed lying. I was so hurt, even though I knew what was going on, he admitting to it made it hurt much worse.

He had been talking with his ex, because he thought she needed a friend because her boyfriend dumped her while she was pregnant. His ex pretty much treated him like crap, but then he threw me aside to support her. I was devastated. We didn't talk for a few days. But for some reason I still wanted him back even though he did this. After a few days, we talked and he said he would tell her that they shouldn't talk anymore. But a day or so after that, he told me he wouldn't do that to her. Once again, he made me feel like a horrible person, because.."her situation is much worse than ours". I can't remember what else happened...but after about a week and a half we got back together.

I know he couldn't have been physically cheating because she now lives in another state than us. Somehow at that time I moved on from it all. I guess I was blinded by love. But last night as we were discussing that girl (we were talking about pregnancy), I remembered everything that happened. And for some reason, I can't understand why at that time, I begged for him back and forgave him like that. We started arguing last night, and he says he won't agree with me and that I don't have a reason to feel hurt. But I think I deserve an apology.

Thoughts?

[melissa]

Honestly, yes, you do!



http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...555AAAczN9

[Carol]

I dated a guy like him. He was more loyal to others than he was to me and this was a definite pattern after the fifth time. (Duh, right?) You can either get over this first time, forgive him the second, third, and fourth time, and then rethink the relationship on the fifth time like I did, or you can rethink what kind of person he really is now. Good luck.

[Lauren]

Ok first of all that is a sh*tty boyfriend... Sorry but its true. He lies to you about talking to his ex ... When he could of just said 'she sent me the video, I've been talking to her since she's going through a hard time'. But then he calls you names.... Then lies again. You do have the right to feel hurt and I would be so angry if that was my boyfriend.... You deserve a big apology , or just throw it back in his face and flirt with boys and talk with your ex's and rub it in his face!......... Up to you, good luck !

[Shannon]

I think you defiantly have a reason to feel hurt because he broke your trust which is what a relationship is based off of. Think about it, if you cant trust the person then is it really that good of a relationship? But I think if your feelings for him are really that strong you should see if you guys could calmly talk it out and try your best not to start a fight an just tell him how it made you feel so he knows it wasn't just "nothing" and that it honestly hurt you. And it may not have been physically cheating, but to me, cheating starts when they other person starts to hide things from you like he did with the video thing, it doesn't have to be physical.
And could you PLEASE go answer my question? Thanks!

[Jes100]

Dahlia, you need to be with someone that is honest respects you and makes you feel good about yourself. If he is always making you feel like a horrible person, either you have low self-esteem or he is really saying some nasty things to you. If he is saying nasty things to you it will more than likely get worse. Do you want that? If you have low self-esteem, you definateky do not need to be with a guy that attributes to that. What do you like about this guy? Why do you always want him back> I am sure you can get someone better. At least someone that does not lie to you and makes you feel horrible. To answer your question I am not sure if hurt is the feeling you are having, I think maybe you feel betrayed by him because he was dishonest, and then hurt because he continues to have relationship with his Ex. You need to stand your ground and tell him you are not comfortable with that. Then see what says. I would also advise you not to look at her page, you are better than her.

[?]

Of course you have the right to feel hurt because he lied to you and called you names, but if you truly love him you should forgive him. Lovers forgive each others
Have a nice day girl!
P.S. you deserve an apology

[john]

You do have the right to feel hurt because he lied. I think you overreacted a bit on him talking to his ex, because I'm still friends with most of mine. But it does sound like you guys have a trust problem, and if he constantly hurts you, why should you be with him?