I really want to leave..?

[Lily]

Hi, I've been in a relationship with my fiancée for 4 years, I am 23 and he is 38 and a single dad of 2 kids.
For the past year I have been deathly unhappy in the relationship.
He has become unreasonably controlling over the past 2 years, I'll give you some examples.

He wouldn't let me go to my families Christmas meetup or go to any events without him.
He made me close my Facebook account and sell my iPhone because he doesn't like to see me spending so much time talking to my friends and accused me of cheating on him with every one and even sent them texts asking if I was engaging in sexual activities in them.
Also because I posted a picture on Facebook and one of my friends told me I looked pretty.
He sets out what I should wear every morning and made me get rid of any clothes he deemed too revealing because he said I'd only wear them to impress others and he doesn't like other people looking at his girl.
He demands sex from me every night even if I feel ill and accuses me of cheating and not wanting him if I say I just don't feel like it.
I go to college, and he makes me text him at every break and if I fail to do so he accuses me of having sex with one of my classmates and not valuing him.

I tried to leave him in the summer but within a week of me leaving him he OD'd on sleeping pills and had to have his stomach pumped and tells me if I ever cheat on him or leave him he'll do it again and then his children will have no Father and I will have to live with that.
I DO love him but I am so unhappy and feel so trapped.
How do I leave him without him doing something crazy because I don't think I could live with myself if that happened.

Please excuse my spelling, I hate typing on library computers.

[â™ Merlin â™]

you cannot stay because he is emotionally black mailing you
any ONE of the reasons you gave is reason enough
one complete clean break is all you need
walk away and sever all ties immediately

what happens to him is his responsibility
he isnt suicidal he is blackmailing you

walk away
today

[Hannah]

My best advice here is to call the police telling them that your fiance is threatening to kill himself and He has two small children of his and they have no one, after the police deal with that you can leave.If they don't want to deal with it. Contact the government about the child they need a place before you can leave when they get taken away leave if he tries to hurt you call the cops ASAP and they will arrest him for utter threats, if you live in Canada

[J Richmond]

Yikes this is crazy. You don't want to stay if you're unhappy, but I can see why you don't want to leave. Does he have family around still? Brothers, sisters, mom, dad, aunt, uncle? They could possibly talk to him. You can't stay if you're not happy and nobody deserves to go through 21 questions because they don't want to do anything. Also, it will only get worse. You have to find an easy way to go about it...I would start with reaching out to somebody in his family (that is if you are close with any of them)

Be careful. Good luck with everything

[sirjester099]

You have two options. You can go on being a victim or you can free yourself.
He might have lied to you about the OD'ing just to get your attention. But if he is a suicidal father of two young kids someone needs to let the kids' mother know that he is..
Stop letting him run your life like you were a remote control robot

[Ovidiu]

Well, let me put it this way:
1. I am 55, so that I am an old, experienced goat;
2. This guy, compared to you, is an old goat too! No need to waste your time and beauty with him!
3. He's got two kids. So what?!? Why do you care?!? They're not yours!
4. He's a controlling freak, obsessed with the idea that you might be f*cking other guys! Good! If that is what he suspects, then that is what he needs! Let yourself out of this sick and toxic relationship and go f*cking around as many YOUNG guys as you can manage!
5. He wants to commit suicide! Perfect! This means that his kids will stop being "educated" and, most probably, persecuted by a freak like their SICK father!
6. Say thanks that you haven't married this freak - the divorce formalities would have taken some time!...
7. You're still young, and, most probably, beautiful!
Live your life! Don't let a blackmailing d*ckhead turn it into the turmoil that you are living right now!
This has got to stop!

[taelonprincess]

Lily hon,im sorry to hear of you going through so much and you are only 23!This is a man much older who is clearly being very manipulative.The threats to kill himself are very dangerous,life threatening and real.No man who truly loved a girl would treat her like that....by closing off facebook and making you sell your phone he is making sure you are isolated from friends and family...so you have nowhere to turn to and are totally dependant on him for everything.By not letting you wear what you want he is controlling you as well.As time goes by you will lose your independance and self confidence.
As for him killing himself which he has already tried,means he is not of sound mind either,for what man who loves his children and his fiance would do such a thing?Youre only 23,you have so much to enjoy and experience in life,this is not something you should be stuck dealing with....you have to call the police,(and i bet the police already know him if they had to deal with emergency services as to why a man od'd on pills)and explain whats happened and that includes shutting off your facebook account,selling your phone,and also the overdose case...you have to ask them to guide you as to what to do....this way you have informed the authorities of whats going on if he does try something.
you have to get out now,and even if it means that you walk out without anything in your hands...just leave.you might never get a second chance.