Sister-in-law created Facebook page for her underaged child. Should I do something?

[Mindy]

I just got married a few months ago and am not yet super close to my husband's family, but we are Facebook friends. Last night, my husband got a friend request from his 10-year-old nephew. His mom included a note that her child would be allowed only 10 friends who are friends and family. She posted on her status report this morning that to all the people wanting to friend him, she was limiting him for his protection, but that as a new homeschooled child, he was lonely and needed more interaction, and that this could help fill that void.
I work with kids and am concerned. Facebook allows only users aged 13 and up, so she falsified his date of birth to get him on there. The advertisements target people older, not to mention the fact that, even if he only has a few friends on there, not everyone has their security set up to protect young children. And, though unlikely, predators will always find a way to try to reach kids. Anyone can still message him through Facebook.
My husband tried to change all of his security settings, but he can't control what others might post to his page (and shouldn't have to), and if my husband makes a comment on another friend's page who doesn't have high security settings, the entire conversation string might be seen on the kid's home page. I say this because my husband's oldest daughter is an artist who posted a drawing that was really beyond R-rated one time--he made a comment on it that reminded her that her grandmother could see that picture. Had he and his nephew been friends at that time, his nephew might have seen the comments AND the picture on his homepage. And his parents would have been furious.
Anyway, it isn't fair that my husband will have to think about every post he makes and whether it is appropriate for a young child to see.
These parents are the same ones who tried to make sure the kid didn't see a nude (tastefully done) painting in a restaurant we went to several weeks ago, so they're normally pretty protective of him, and they are very religious.
I was half tempted to report this (if you report underaged users to FB, they delete the profile), but I kind of made a stink to my husband to talk with them about it, so if his page is deleted, I think people will know it was me. I don't want to start my relationship with his family being called the "busybody," judgmental, or "the police"...
Any ideas? Or do I just leave it alone? My husband doesn't want any bad feelings, but it really irks me when parents do something that is inappropriate for their child or that makes others have to be responsible for their children.
Thanks!
Thanks so much for everyone who took the time to answer. I found Steve's, Tiffy's and Maternal and Family Health's answers particularly helpful. I ended up just telling my husband my concerns and giving him some other ideas for sites (thanks, Steve!) that the kid might like to visit and left it up to him. I noticed yesterday that he had friended his nephew, so so be it. Now it's just his parents' responsibility, even if I don't agree.
Thanks, all!

[Kira]

No you shouldn't, it's not your business. He has consent from his parents and so long as his page is private and has limited contacts there is no real problem. Do you know how many underaged children have facebook... You may consider it as wrong but please, you'll just start awkward tension between your extended family.

[Computer ER]

Dude,even toddlers and pets have facebook today,you're cool if you don't have one now.

[iJustine no1 fann!]

Hi =) I am probably the last person you'll want to get a reply off, because I am thirteen.
But i know what you mean. My friend's little sister was on Facebook, and i reported her. Nothing happened, I think it's because it has to get more then one report for Facebook to check it out and decide to delete it. But for a ten year old? No, you're not allowed. You could report his profile, but I'm not sure if anything would happen fast, if you asked someone like your husband to also click 'report' then they might check it out, because two people had reported him. =)

[David]

your such a freak, I mean when I set up my facebook I was 11 and I added all my friends from school so that about 100 people.. Also, you should just tell the child that if he ever recieves messages from anybody he should delete them.. easy.
also I dont know what you've done with the secuirty settings, but it is possible to see other peoples walls and posts because your secuirty settings dont apply to anyone else.
finally done be so nosey, she's giving her child, her concent, that's not up to you, and the thing about sex predators.. the media hype it up, I mean there's obvs stuff like dont put your adress on their just your town or close city, but there's only been 10 cases where peadophiles take from facebook.. in a period of 12 months

[Steve K]

Mindy,

Your concerns are right. Facebook is not a place for children. It's intent was for college students to keep in touch. Now all the kids want to get on it just like MySpace.

Its quite dangerous for any child to be on a social networking site. If it weren't, there wouldn't be joke pictures on the internet like a fat shirtless guy with a beard and a pink-caption across the picture that says, "14 / F / CALI" or http://mycrimespace.com/ which is a forum that posts on most if not every child-pedophile caught on social networking sites. Mostly Myspace.

While they are protective of him, the restrictions should be applied without his knowlege. Letting him have one only shows him or enables him to create one they don't know about.

I let my 5 year old daughter play some games a ggg.com, nickjr.com, or knowlegeadventure.com.
All other sites are blocked for her account and she knows she's not ever allowed on anyone elses account... Unfortunately she doesn't always ask people to save their work before logging them off and its funny sometimes.

'As far as I'm concerned, she has no business, nor will she have any business publishing herself in any social networking site until she's at least 18. Kids also don't even realize the professional defamation they can cause on themselves by publishing their childish antics. An employer could see a video of them being reckless at 15 but seeing their profile at 20 trying to apply for a job there.

Kids have no business on social sites for their own protection. I got online when I was a teenager but it was my passion as a growing IT professional. This was also a different time in technology. I got on there to learn and at that time, pedophiles didn't know really how to do anything about the internet. People bought modems and paid for the internet before they got a computer at that time because they heard how great the internet was but didn't even realize a computer was needed!!!

Now... it's all plug-and-play, and computers are extremely accessible these days. Kids should be protected from these sites because they. Sorry children, rebuttle all you want but you have no idea what you're talking about. Live the age before you talk about it.
1) Aren't responsible for their actions
2) Cannot even though they think they can, protect themselves...

Under the circumstances though, the new family and all... I would just let it slide.
You know its wrong, just make sure when you have your child getting close to that age, you stick to your guns... However it's their responsibility. You could report them as negligent and illegal account age...but it's family... You would be doing them a favor but they would just reopen one and not tell you about it.

I hope this has been helpful. Best of luck to you on your decision.

Best Regards,

Steve K. - MCITP: SA, MCTS: Windows 7, RHCT/RHCSA (IT Professional and student majoring networking and systems security)

Perhaps you could provide this link for your inlaws.
http://www.cpiu.us/internet-safety/ - CPIU (Child Pedophilia Investigation Unit)

** Tiffy make's a good point that you should discuss it with them. I wasn't saying that discussion wasn't a go. I was saying that submitting the report was probably a no-go. If its something they consented to, they accept the responsibility. I do strongly urge that you make sure that they are aware of the consequences of worst-case scenarios and the previous events with other teens.
That mycrimespace.com site is a perfect example of some of the things they should see. The 14/F/CALI is something they should see...

[TiffyKatt]

While i agree with Steve K about the risks involved in allowing your own underage child have a Facebook account, I disagree with completely butting out of your in-laws' decision.

I think the best thing to do is to make them aware of the exposure their child may have to other people's interactions despite their best efforts to shield him. You mentioned that they are religious and are very protective, so I am sure they would be receptive to your advice as long as you are not judgmental about it.

[kindlocket672]

I would at least talk to them about it, but frame it from the point of view that he's a good kid and you care about him and want to make sure he's safe. Don't sound judgmental or accuse them of anything. Tell them what you know and even say, 'hey you probably know this, but i just don't feel right if i don't say something and at least do my part to help out my new family..." and see what you can do to help.

One thing that might help with your other concern is that your husband can filter things HE posts so that his nephew can't see. You can filter individual people out of every status update. Click the little lock icon before posting things and it should help weed out instances of problems.

Also, I know someone who was pregnant and told some family, but wasn't ready to tell friends or work for a couple of months. She was afraid of what people would post on her wall so she was actually able to turn wall comments off. That might help keep the little boy's account safe.

I think you can protect yourself and if you don't come in saying 'you shouldn't do this, it's bad parenting' or anything that sounds like that, you can at least let them know you are concerned and just want to help. Good luck!