Does anyone else always feel more sorry for the shooter than the victim in a shooting?

[Adrienne]

Is this really strange of me?

[The Goat]

That's strange, yes. Most shooters make a conscious decision to hurt people, so why the heck would anyone feel sorry for them?

[lisa]

Both may be victims of circumstance but only one is a true victim. And should be given the consideration as such.

[muffin_master]

No, I don't think it's all that weird.

Okay, so I guess the question is, why are they shooting? I believe all people we deem as bad people either have a chemical imbalance or are traumatized by their past, they've been hurt so they want to hurt people to so that they can feel better. I'm not saying it's the "right thing to do" but there is a reason people commit crimes against humanity and against all living things, we should think about these reasons.

[MakeMusic]

Not at all, I feel that way too. but depends onthe situations of course.

[Adrian L]

Honestly, I often thought the same thing when I was in school.

High school doesn't last all that long, but that's a lot easier to recognize from the outside than from the inside. If you're being harassed or worse every day, someone telling you to grin and bear it for the next two years might as well be telling you to grin and bear it for the next decade. People also don't seem to remember how isolating school can be. If you're a minor, you're legally obligated to remain in that building for many hours a day, five days of the week. Taking social media into account, it's not unreasonable to say that teenagers nowadays never truly get a break from the drama and vitriol. Even if you're an adult and can sign yourself out if you need a break, where are you gonna go if you don't have a car and your school's in the middle of nowhere?

We force kids to remain in the at times very toxic and vicious micro-societies that form in schools, and depressingly often can't or won't step in when those kids need help. Idiotic zero-tolerance policies put the victim in as much trouble as the bullies, should he or she fight back even a little bit. Sometimes even more, if the bully or his/her family contributes prestige or money to the school (ie. sports stars, children of rich benefactors...) Even in cases where mental illness was a factor, we pointedly avoid looking at whether the school environment could've contributed to the development of said mental illness.

And somehow, even after all that, we're surprised when somebody eventually snaps. We blame it on games, mental illness, anything to avoid having to take a good, hard look at ourselves and what we're doing. We write off the shooters as sociopaths, because we don't want to admit that something we created and continue to idealize might push an ordinary kid to such a state of hopelessness.

At the same time, I do feel sorry for the victims. Obviously, some had nothing to do with the problem, like those poor kids at Sandy Hook. Some might also have felt powerless to stop what was happening to the shooter before they snapped. Often, sticking up for the underdog gets you treated as badly or worse. We all like to think we'd have helped the underdog, but it's unreasonable to expect an ordinary 14-year-old to willingly put him or herself through that kind of crap to protect another, especially if there's no guarantee it'd even improve things at all for that other. There's also the obvious fact that being shot is rather heavy retribution for bullying, especially if your parents were also bullies and never modeled otherwise.