Should I give him another chance or is he too insecure?

[Trinity007]

This will be very long so...I was dating this guy for a month. He is paraplegic (paralyzed from the waist down). He's a former marine but the injury was caused by a motorcycle accident. It was my first time dating a guy in a chair and I told him that but I was willing to see how it'd go. Our first dates were very romantic and he was the first guy to buy me a bouquet of roses. Date 1, dinner and a comedy show, Date 2, dinner and church for New Years, etc. By the date 5-end of week 2 I was comfortable enough to stay overnight at his place. Everything was going great, he cooked me dinner by candlelight, ran bubble baths for me by candlelight, I was like wow. Needless to say it felt like a relationship - we both acknowledged it wasn't though and I was fine with that - I was trying to just go with the flow of things. I was like maybe he's overcompensating for the fact that he's in a chair or maybe he's just super romantic. 

Anywho, by week 3 things started to change. When I wasn't with him he was constantly needing me to reassure him I was thinking about him. I would tell him I was working if he hadn't heard from me after a couple hours but he still needed me to text him all day. One day I hadn't texted after 3 hours and he sent a text saying "I feel neglected by you". I was like where is this coming from? One night while we were sleeping together I rolled away because I got too hot (body heat) and fell asleep. That morning he was upset and hurt and kept saying I wasn't being affectionate if I wasn't next to him. I tried to explain that I was too hot but he was really hurt. Things just kept getting worse fast. He picked me up for a date one night and noticed the visor in my truck was down in the passenger side and he started insinuating that I'd had a guy in there even after I told him I never did. That was another fight. He would start to tell me that if we got together seriously I'd have to close my facebook and change my phone number because he wouldn't want men from my past to have access to me. I told him I didn't have men on my facebook like that and that I've had my phone number for 12years and I wasn't gonna change it cause it made him uncomfortable. That was another fight. He started seeming extremely insecure. He told me early on that he was a jealous dude but this was going beyond a healthy jealousy. This was feeling controlling but he didn't see it that way. He saw it as giving 100% to a relationship but I felt like I would be the one making all the sacrifices. I have some friends and business contacts that are male and even though I told him I don't sleep with them he sees any man as a potential threat even if they aren't.

I broke up with him two weeks ago after one morning I decided to go to my little nephews basketball game and didn't mention it to him. He accused me of being secretive and sneaky. That did it for me. I don't feel like I have to give someone I'm dating a play by play of my day. He says if he is ever going to trust someone and call it a relationship then I should give him the details with no questions. Well like I said it's been two weeks and he is still calling and leaving long voicemails and sending angry vile text messages. I tried to talk to him and get him to see that he made me feel like a whore by all his crazy accusations. I told him I never saw anyone else while I was with him but everything I did was still suspicious to him. It was like talking to a wall. One day I looked up his criminal history and saw that he'd had an order of protection against him from his last relationship from a year ago. He apparently twisted the girl's arm but she got away. After reading that I threatened to call the cops if he wouldn't stop calling me and that made him even more upset. He started to say I was evil and deceitful for looking him up and for threatening to ruin his life because he is paralyzed. He says his ex treated him badly and I feel like he is taking it out on me. 

The thing is when we were together everything was wonderful, the cooking for each other, the lake, chess, watching movies, etc. But every time we were apart he turned into a clingy insecure accuser. I just couldn't take it anymore. I've dated a lot and I always move on quickly when I see red flags but I'm starting to question if I moved on too quickly could this just be his one flaw? This guy just really sticks in my head for some reason and now I feel like the cold-hearted one. He's like Prince Charming in person but this dark needy entity when he's alone. I think that if he got some therapy he could get better. He doesn't even recognize his insecurities.

[blood]

dont encourage his behavior. It won't end well for either of you. Im glad you had the sense to dump him and not think twice because hes a parapalegic. If he changes and you can tell for sure then you could go back but no sooner.

[320]

I don't think this has anything to do with him being paraplegic so much as it is him being insecure. Plenty of non-disabled, needy, whiny dudes exist too.

[789]

You need to get a Order of Protection asap. Even before you broke up with him he sounded like he was bad news to me. There are annoying but tolerable insecure guys and there are dangerous insecure guys. He sounds dangerous. The fact that was perceived dangerous by a judge and he has one order of protection against him already demonstrates you need to protect yourself.

You also need to block him from calling your cell phone and seeing your facebook page. Let your friends know you have broken up with him and to not discuss with him anything about you.