Is it petty to be upset about birthday gifts?

[May]

For my friend's birthday present I paid for her to get her nails done. I did this for her kind of late, about two months afterwards because I hadn't seen her during that time. It came out to about $40 including tip, plus I said it was okay for her to get a design done as well which added on to it.

Then my birthday was at the end of October but we didn't see each other then. About two weeks ago we talked about hanging out and I said we should get our nails done. She said, "I just got my hair done and gas filled so I don't have much $, but I'll take you to get your nails done."

So it turns out what she meant supposedly by saying "I'll take you to get your done," was she would give me a RIDE to get them done because when it was time to pay she stood back from the paying counter in back of me and I had to paid for them!!

Looking back i realized that the last two years (counting this year) I paid for her nails to get done for her bday, and she hasn't done anything for mine. it was pretty disappointing that she didm't take my to get my nails done too. i mean it's not even all about the money… it's about the thought too

She put on twitter since then, that she went to get her own nails done and went shopping… which means she's used money on herself and made an excuse not to do anything for me supposedly because of not having enough money..

would you be upset if you were in this situation? or is this a questionable friend? Im not going to say anything to her about it, but I can't help but be kind of mad that she did this.

[Amanda]

Being tight with money isn't the same thing as being a bad friend.

I'd talk to her about why your upset, because she probably doesn't even realize what she's doing, or in the back of her mind does probably feels slightly guilty as she knows she should be returning the favor, but that doesn't override her inherent attitude towards money.

But I don't think it's something to cut her out of your life for.

[teeny-tinyanger392]

A birthday card will be cheaper, and they should have one that expresses how much you care for her. It is hard when one person spends more on the other person, and then they don't always have the money to reciprocate. A gift is just that, a gift. I get frustrated when others try to make demands on me, without consideration that I have family. They get shafted if I spend it on gifts outside of the family. A limited income is just that. If you want to continue spending on your friend let her know it comes from your heart, and you aren't expecting her to feel she needs to give back in the same manner. A plate of homemade cookies can sure warm the heart.

[whimsy]

just because you gave her a nice present (got her nails done) doesn't mean that she has to do the same for you.

Giving a present isn't "I'm giving you this present; but I expect the same back"

[B.B. Gun]

She was thoughtless. Telling someone you'll take them someplace for their birthday usually indicates you'll be treating them. To suddenly not pay when the bill comes is just plain rude. It'd be like making you pay for your own birthday cake and justifying it that I was nice enough to pick it up.

From now on I would be less generous when dealing with her. A birthday card with a lottery scratcher or something in place of wasting real money on this scammer of a friend.

[M]

Yeah shes not only ignorant but also a user. I have an (ex) friend the exact same as this. We wouldn't talk for months and then she would text me when she wanted something or wanted to brag about something. She's never ever bought me a birthday present out of 7 years but whenever its her birthday she makes sure that I know about it. I paid for her to have her hair cut and bleached a few years ago which cost about £60. She gave me a petty thankyou. My dad offered to take her to Florida with us which would of cost £500 for flight & she goes "oh, thanks" in a really ungrateful voice so I stopped speaking to her. I ran into her a few months ago she looked like shit, she goes "will you borrow me some money for fags" I said go fuck yourself skank. I spent endless about of £ on her by bejng a good friend and she threw it back in my face. I even bought her a brand new phone once when I accidently knelt on her £10 phone. Cut her off you can do better than her. She's a using selfish b-itch

[bluebellbkk]

Good heavens, are you STILL banging on about this? Get over it. Your friend is thoughtless and selfish; decide whether her other qualities are good enough to over-ride these ones, then either live with it or dump her.
But do stop boring us about it.

[Marielle]

I'm going to give you a link to one of the most incredible life changing things that will totally change this around for you. Once you master the art of not taking anything personally, none of this will matter anymore. Since I mastered this art 10 years ago, nothing affects me anymore. The book is titled "The Four Agreements" by Miguel Ruiz. It is a small book and is so worth one hour to read it or, you can get it on Youtube. Here is the link and here is to the rest of your life... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOgcNpGCqQc

[purringcabbage279]

No. Some friends I exchange gifts with and some I don't.
This person is one who doesn't. If you chose to still give her a gift that is up to you. She is not obliged to return the favour.
The very nature of a gift is that it is unconditional, otherwise it is not a gift.

[ladyt90]

She was only thinking about herself. She didn't even take the time out to think about taking some money out for you for your birthday. I know people like that, you're always have everything for them but they don't have everything for you. I wouldn't even bring it up to her, I'll just wait and see if she'll be there for me the next time. Now I'm not saying because you did it for them that they have to do the EXACT same thing for you but just the thought of thinking about a friend who thought about them.