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. · 03-24-2014, 04:13 PM

okay so there's this guy that i've liked for almost 2 years...we're reallllyyy close friends. i've never really admitted my feelings to him because i didn't want to ruin our friendship and he just means a lot to me. and throughout these 2 years, i've told my best friend every single thing that happened between him and me. like how we always stay up talking on the phone, how we tell each other everything, and just things we do. so my best friend WELL KNOWS that i'm really into him. if anyone, she's the one knows every single detail.

i've also been keeping her up to date on how i'm trying to stop liking him because i don't want to ruin things.

but recently, my best friend messaged me and she's like "oh do you still like ___? because i think i like him." and i'm like wooahh there....
i told her i didn't like him anymore, but i didn't tell her why. the only reason i said i didn't like him is because it would be super awkward if we liked the same guy. but i do still like him....

and now, she's ALLLL over him. she messages him everyday on facebook, she's always talking to him at school, and now SHE tries to stay up late and talk to him.......that pisses me off the most lol. and it just really hurts watching...like it's hard enough seeing him talk to other girls,, but my best friend? well i thought she was my best friend...
and EVEN IF i didn't like him anymore, i still think it's a pretty b-tch move of her to do that to me....

but i feel like it's not like i can tell her who she can and can't like. so i've just been playing it off and pretending i don't care. i don't want to start any drama, and i don't want to ruin my friendship with my best friend. or "best friend"... but then again, would a best friend really do this? i've been friends with her for 3 years. and if i tell her about this i think it would make things really awkward and possibly ruin OUR friendship. we're also in all the same classes and clubs at school and i'd have to find somewhere else to sit at lunch lol.
plus, i always told myself i'd never let a guy get in between a friend and me. and it's not like i ever even went out with him, but he's really special to me...

do you think i should confront her about this? and how would i? or should i just let it go? Sad

we're 15 btw if that matters. Smile

Aakash · 03-24-2014, 04:18 PM

Yes....Go ahead...Good idea

101shopaholic · 03-24-2014, 04:23 PM

Ughhhhh, whatever happened to the girl code? Is it extinct? Has it dug a hole and crawled in never allowing for us girls to see it again? This is my opinion, what she did is by no means okay, in fact it is the opposite of okay, it's inconsiderate. I feel that you should have told her the truth that you still liked him, and I think that you should still tell her now, something like this doesn't have to ruin your friendship. If you tell her, "Hey, dude, stop liking him because I do," then yeah that gives grounds for you and her to get into a pretty bad fight. Sitting down with her and talking about is a step that should be taken, there are no guarantees that everything will be hunkey dorey but it's better than having this bottled up. Coming from a friend and best friend to many, I don't condone her actions. When my friends begin to have feeling for an individual, I consider that person off limits. Even when they have stopped liking that individual, I still don't feel it to be okay to like them because it's not necessary and it isn't. There are other guys out there, some probably who are cuter, funnier, and more intelligent, and I don't need to be spending my time doodling in my notebook about a guy my friend once like or likes and she shouldn't be spending her time in that way either. Some say you can't control who you like but I think you can, and if you can't then you better hold it in because your friend is confiding in you about how much she likes this young man. I know you told yourself that guy will not come between you and your friend, but in this situation it isn't the guy but your friend's actions that are making your friendship questionable. Also, I think you should tell the guy, now I know that sounds difficult but it's the only way to know if he likes you or not. Either way, if he's truly your friend he will value your feelings and be gracious of them. It's worth a shot, and that way you could either be spending your time more with him, knowing that he's yours or finding a guy who will want to spend time with you. I've been in this situation before and it hurts but I can promise you that guys in high school are expendable and that there is always another friend to spend lunch with.

diana_ffx · 03-24-2014, 04:30 PM

I think if she really cares about you, she wouldn't do that to you. A bestfriend should know her limits. Never ever date your bestfriends ex or crush. But if they cross the line, what does that really say about them? To me it would feel like a betrayal. She should know that it would hurt you if she got with him since you've been into him for so long. I think maybe she's just trying to compete with you and go after what you want just to feel better about herself. Confront her and tell her that it's messed up that she's doing that to you. Then slap her. Jk. But ya, you need to tell her. And if she continues flirting with him, then I guess she can't really be consider a besty anymore. Maybe just a friend. She doesn't look like someone you can trust when it comes to guys.